This year was a really difficult year, I struggled really intensely with anxiety, panic attacks, some form of eating disorder where I couldn't eat whenever I was stressed, and some trauma from when I was a teenager resurfaced. I had a really demanding job as well and was living with my boyfriend. When it all became a little too much and was having panic attacks regularly I really felt like I needed to move back home and be with my family and close to my therapist so I could get some help, which meant moving out of my boyfriends apartment (about a 25 minute drive). He never once offered to come stay the night with me and be there for me. I struggled for a long time and DEFINITELY did NOT do things perfectly by any means, I had really bad avoidance behaviour and couldn't do certain things because I as afraid it would trigger a panic attack. I know he was getting really frustrated and didn't understand what I was going through, so every now and then he would call me and tell me I needed to prove to him I could work through it, and would shame me for struggling. I had a really hard time being in the apartment as well because I felt like it wasn't the best environment for me to get better because that's the place where I started to struggle mentally. He became really upset and over the last few months would say things to me like "you know any other guy would leave you at this point right?", "you don't even attempt to inspire attraction", "you need to man up (I'm a girl) and get some more therapy", "it doesn't make a difference to me if you come over or not", and then he would say he's not going to wait for me forever, as if having mental health problems has a time limit. For a long time I felt like I deserved those things he said to me and it would make my anxiety a lot worse out of the fear of losing him. He's now been ignoring me for a week and a half, and I'm afraid he's going to ghost me and break up with me that way. We've been together for almost 6 years.