Why do I still feel this way?

My ex and I broke up like a year ago but almost everyday I think about my faults. What I could do differently or just replay scenes in general.
I also play it in my head how she rubbed her new boyfriend in my face like 2 weeks after our breakup and how she once cheated on her boyfriend before me. I found out by viewing sexts that she sent the guy she cheated on her boyfriend before me with.
And I feel like a rush of weirdness when I think about I don't know how to describe it.
Why do I still feel this way?
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