I’m so confused over how my ex feels now?

+5Xper
So long story I’m 26 my ex is 31 we have 2 kids together and then he has my son in his life also so 3 kids 👍🏻 We had been together one month off 4 years... he left me when our youngest son was 11 weeks this was in March... I had awful post natal depression and he also was struggling with depression / anxiety he was going bankrupt too. I thought he wasn’t in his right mind kind of like a life crisis... the week before he was talking about when we move house looking at houses talking about future holidays with the kids the dogs etc... everything normal we always had talked about. He had refused to have sex or affection with me for a year or almost a year in March... this massively upset me and made me resent him... anyway one morning he woke up and said he doesn’t want to be with me and he hasn’t loved me for a year !! Despite the week before me asking if he wants to make us work if not I’m going I’m worth more and he said I do love you and I want to make us work. And then just apparently gives up I was in shock we had an 11 week old baby a 21 month old and an 8 year old and I was suffering from awful post natal. He could of picked a time when my post natal had improved this comobibed with the fact he hadn’t touched me in a year made me feel ugly and awful.. I was pissed off broke and hurt and I said to him I want to make us work no wonder we have no connection u havnt made any efforts and we havnt had any date nights.. I pretty much lost my self respect but I still don’t mind to this day I stood by what I believed was right at the time. Anyway fast forward nearly 6 months and I’m so much stronger I’m happy motivated I’m a single mum of 3 but I have a job and I’m off to college September to help better myself. He acted disgusting after the breakup he joined tinder the Ay we broke up and before that I suspect. He screamed in my face when I was crying and said vicious things to me he was stone cold..( will update more in a post...)
Updates:
3 mo
Characters were too long so il continue here

Anyway he was a completely different guy to who I thought I was with... we’ve never been an on off couple and have always in my mind been solid. He broke up with me the month before our anniversary... I was still living in our house whilst I was on tinder etc I finally managed to move near to my family in April so 3-4 weeks later those 4 weeks were hell he was mentally and verbally abusive
3 mo
Anyways I spent up until May I’d say ( a difficult month as my sons birthdays and one of them was born 5 weeks early and I have so many memories with my ex in the baby unit ) and my other sons birthday was a week later so yes difficult month. I reached out naturally on what would it been our anniversary in April and he just ignored it or replied with the fact he doesn’t care. But since end of May / beg June Iv just slowly every day realised my worth and how much I brought to the table vs him
I’m so confused over how my ex feels now?
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