To keep it short, my ex and I use to date for three years. We had a very unhealthy relationship as he was emotionally abusive , short tempered, and was pretty one sided. I had my flaws of course which was being very emotional. I finally had enough and for the first time I broke up with him. (He broke up with me before 5 other times for my personality, being annoyed by me, etc.) He comes back into my life but fully admits his wrongs and wanting to work on them (he has never done that before). We just can’t be together and remain basically friends with benefits. He is my first love and I cater to this person literally bend over backwards. Like selling my clothes for him and going out of my way loaning him money. I told him numerous times I don’t think I could be friends as I still love him and it would break my heart if he was with someone. Somehow he convinced me it would be ok. He knows I don’t flirt with other guys or try to seek others as I feel we could make it work. I find out he is basically keeping me on the side while talking to other girls and flirting. And if I were to do that it would be a double standard. It breaks my heart. I finally had enough. And the night before he told me drunkenly that he manipulates me. I basically tell him off and told him I don’t appreciate him going behind my back talking to other girls while I treat him more than a girlfriend would. Although he’s single I thought I would be treated how I treat him. He then told me that he talks to other girls bc there’s alwats a problem with me. I told him I was done and that I was blocking him off everything including number which I did and never done before. For some reason I feel like I’m abandoning him and feel Horrible about it. I know he’s in a runt and needs help financially... but I’m tired of being scolded and yelled at and not taken seriously , was it okay I blocked him?