I don’t know if we are broken up. He’s extremely down in himself. I don’t know how to recover what’s happened. Can someone please help me?

My boyfriend of 3 years dropped a bomb on me on Wednesday that he doesn’t know what he wants, that he needs space, & that he didn’t think we were compatible. Actually to be honest he used absolutely everything you can properly think of to hurt me. It all felt extremely irrational because his head was in the worst place possible, he was even saying things like “I’ve been finding you unbearable to meet up with”. I got up mid conversation and left because I couldn’t handle the hurt. He said I’ve been causing arguments lately, & haven’t been supporting him, and he even suggested that I control him. Obviously all of this was a surprise but I’ll admit my flaws to an extent.

He said that the negativity all started over a month and a half ago after we returned from a trip. We’ve had ups and downs since then but despite all, he didn’t show ANY upset. In fact, when we’d fight, he’d get over it as would I, & he’d even say things like “these things make us stronger”.

Last week he asked me to move away with him for a new job. Only a few days ago I was supportive of him when he applied for another job. I’m always supporting his interests and trying to push him to do what he loves. I just feel that everything he’s said is so irrational. I get that he’s upset about fighting but that’s something I even said I’ll work on. I offered to seek professional help.

Since I got up & left, I haven’t heard from him at all. I don’t know where I stand at all, only that I know I want to give him space. He’s a very unhappy guy, he has no friends, no secure job, & no hobbies. He’s piled on the weight and he’s nearly blaming me for his own unhappiness. Obviously I have no idea where I stand at the moment, but I don’t know where to go from here. I want to self improve to show him I’ve changed. If he sees on my end that I’ve tried, it might help him. Do you think after the college work is finished he may see clearer?
I don’t know if we are broken up. He’s extremely down in himself. I don’t know how to recover what’s happened. Can someone please help me?
2
0
Add Opinion