My boyfriend has been hot and cold. Did he just break up with me for real or was this an irrational decision?

Just want people’s opinions on this because I’m quite confused. My boyfriend of 3 years sat me down on Wednesday suddenly and told me he wasn’t happy.

He named every reason as to why he wants out. He said that I’ve been causing a lot of arguments recently and he’s not happy. He said I’m very negative. He brought up things from months ago which were sorted out ages ago and said I didn’t handle them well, and even said I’m controlling. I was really upset and apologized for behaviour I didn’t even know existed at some stages. I told him that yes I’ve been in a negative space (which he already knew), so that I’d consider talking to someone. He said “how do we even know if that’ll work, I can’t change you and don’t want to change you”, but I said I want to change myself.

He then said that he doesn’t even like himself. He has no friends or hobbies which has always been a struggle. He’s worried about his future, & at the moment he’s so stressed by a college project due next week. He said he felt like I didn’t support the interviews he went for (which isn’t true, I always support), & he even said if we went long distance he doesn’t know if it’ll work. He made remarks like “I think I just want to be on my own and figure out me and go see the world and I have to be alone” and “we’re so incompatible, we want different things”. I was so annoyed that I got up and left mid chat.

This all sounds really negative,
right? But I’m confused. Last week he asked me 3 times if I’d move away with him to another city, & if I didn’t move, we’d make it work. For a few weeks he’s been talking about the future normally, saying after his college project he wants us to go out & have fun. We even made a fun list of things to do. We had our anniversary on Monday & he was so affectionate with me. He even wrote a card which said he’s had the best 3 years of his life & that I don’t realise how much I mean to him?
We have a holiday in December & he’s been saying how excited he is.
My boyfriend has been hot and cold. Did he just break up with me for real or was this an irrational decision?
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