I feel trapped in my relationship. How can I break it off compassionately and in a way that makes sense to him?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over three years. We are great friends, but it is becoming more clear to me that as a couple we are mismatched. I've told him this and he becomes confused, asking specifically why I feel that way. I tell him its a gut feeling mostly. I also dont like living with him because of his poor hygiene and lackadaisical attitude towards chores and house cleanliness, his intense personality, and his drinking (which he's gotten much much with, but I noticed last night he was sneaking drinks whilst I slept). Besides the drinking, he tries to tell me none of those are good reasons to break up and we are meant for each other.
I become anxious in trying to explain because the vast majority of the time when I tell him something is bothering me, he gets upset. He attempts to logically unravel my concerns so my feelings seem less valid. He says my feelings are valid and gives me verbal support of my concerns, but doesn't act like he does. I fear going up against him as I usually end up backed into a corner, ashamed of myself for feeling anything in the first place. Im anxious even writing this and him seeing it.
I know he is allowed to have his opinion too, but I'm sick of bringing up past issues only to bicker and feel awful. I feel as if he doesn't get me, and confuses "getting me" with just having been around me a long time and knowing my habits.

I just have a feeling I can't shake and can't express to him in a satisfactory logical way. We have a lot in common, we have good times, we both want to have kids someday... but it's not working for me. Maybe I dont have enough confidence in my voice and my opinions. I know Im not perfect. But I want to break up as amicably as possible. How can I explain why I want to break up in a way that makes sense to him?
I feel trapped in my relationship. How can I break it off compassionately and in a way that makes sense to him?
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