Why is it impossible ( or feels like it) to move on?

My ex split up with me after a year of dating, however 3 years of close friendship by stating there wasn't any connection & he wants what's best for both of us & he thinks not been together is it.
I know this is bull (Peop had been saying for ages when we were just mates, that we should b together.) He'd also said (whilst dating) he hadn't been this happy in ages.
Before the dating began, we were besties & I always had the feeling that he would be in my life forever in some capacity. I've only had this feeling twice before him for two of my best girl mates.
Since the split ( it wasn't a bad breakup), there has been little conversation. He's told me to have his stuff that he left at my house. He said he'd pay me the money he owed me and that was that. Id drop him the odd text and he'd reply in a civil way. I even invited him to an annual bbq I have with a load of friends (some mutual) & he replied saying he'd let me know and a smily face & a kiss. He didn't - which I knew he wouldn't (not just down to us but other reasons too.
I hadn't contacted him at all for 2 months, when he started sending (you send some to receive some) me poker chips on this game ( u have to type in the person's name). He kept sending these, until I replied back in bulk (he would of got a load from me in one go). He has then stopped despite still been playing the game. His brother also keeps coming through on my fb friends suggestion too.
I caved & text him regarding the money he owes me (he still hasn't paid & he's usually good with things like that) and he's just ignored me.
I'm not silly & its unlikely hell be back but I still feel like were meant to be. I've tried moving on, going on dates, keeping myself busy etc. I'm trying to improve myself & get hobbies but he's always my first thought in the morning and last thing at night.
Physics have told me hell be back (without me saying anything about him) however I am sceptical too. I just feel lost without him. We used to talk about everything
2 mo
He also said I wasn't perfect when we split ( I had never said I was and i'm always trying to improve). Literally a month before he announced there was no spark, he had said how imagined us with grandkids (despite no kids) and how he couldn't imagine his life without me. When I asked him, he said ' I just say things'. I just don't know what to think :( is he just pushing me away or has the whole friendship been a lie? We both told each other things no one else knew & both said things we regret
2 mo
Part of me thinks he has cheated and feels beyond guilty or he's left me for someone else however I asked him straight out and he said no and tbf he knows my ex hurt me badly from doing that and I kept saying I wish hed been honest with me so I think he would of said. sorry for ranting. I just don't know what to think
Why is it impossible ( or feels like it) to move on?
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