Is it bad that I miss him?

A year ago, I moved in with a boyfriend and we were together for 8 years.

We split up while still living together and the last 2-3 months of living together was living hell. From someone I saw everyday who supported me suddenly turned into someone who mentally and physically abused me. Made to feel like I was to blame for his behaviour, he would hit me if I didn't wash the dishes properly, he made me physically unwell and called in sick for work... which I often never did and my collegues found it odd... they had an idea what was happening and told me it was best to move out.

I moved out back to my parents, got a new job closer... my life has been turned upside down. I have blocked my ex on everything so he can no longer torment me and day by day I feel more like myself. But every now and again I find myself missing him and then it hurts knowing the person I want no longer exists... he's not the kind, supportive man I once knew. I can't see him that way anymore after everything he's done.

I hate myself for missing someone who made me feel so small and weak, in constant fear feeling like I'm not good enough.
Is it bad that I miss him?
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