Why do I still miss my ex? How do I get over my ex boyfriend fully?

I got rid of everything I had him on. I know he hasn't been the greatest to me and all and I know that he can be rude sometimes. But it hurts the most when he doesn't tell me why he broke up with me. It left me heartbroken and thinking negative thoughts. I've done stuff. I can't say. I hate myself for falling in love with him and seeing past his rudeness but I guess he never loved me. I can still remember the last day I went over. he wouldn't kiss me nor cuddle with me. I started to feel like I've don't something wrong but I just pushed it aside. When I couldn't take it anymore I said my mom wanted me home (I lied because i was scared of what was going to happen and I didn't want to cry). At 10 O'clock I messaged him on trying to fix things but it ended up sounding like a break up and he called me saying lets break up. I cried for like 3 weeks. He haunted my dreams every night I ended up giving in to cuts then I stopped. then next month I started again and now I'm just empty. I know he won't come back and I know he won't contact me ever again. But just going to the places I've been with him it just hurts and then hearing my mom talk about it... it hurts even deeper. I have no one else to turn to. I can't tell my parents my problems cause they'll just laugh at me and call stupid.
Why do I still miss my ex? How do I get over my ex boyfriend fully?
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