How do you leave a long term relationship when you still love him but know you would be settling if you stayed?

I don't even know where to start. We've been together going on 4 years and are both in our early 20s. We have both only been with each other.

Our relationship is great in most aspects, but there are aspects of it that are lacking that I question if I'd get from another guy. One of these things being that I feel like I make a lot more of an effort.

I'm always the one going to see him when I leave from his house late at night and have to wake up a lot earlier than he does. I think I've conditioned him to be this way because anytime he texts or calls asking to see me (which is usually at night due to our work and school schedules), I usually make it happen. However, whenever I ask him to come over it's always excuses. I don't expect him to drop everything for me, but he hardly ever makes the drive over to see me or if I ask last minute, despite me making it possible to see him when he does the same. He also hardly ever comes to my house.

Another example is with our families. His family is always getting together and doing things while mine all lives out of state. I always make sure to be at events he asks me to come to, but when it comes time to being with my family on the rare occasion we're all able to get together, he can't make it.

There are other examples I could get into but the main thing it comes down to is that I feel like our relationship is dependent upon me making the effort and never about him trying to compromise or putting in the same effort back.

I know he loves me but things like this make me question how much he actually cares about me when I'm constantly feeling let down from his lack of effort.

I've already talked to him about these issues before and it usually doesn't go anywhere. Any suggestions? The thought of breaking up is always in the back of my mind because I hate feeling this way, maybe it's also due to the fact that I don't know what else is out there because we've only ever been with each other.
How do you leave a long term relationship when you still love him but know you would be settling if you stayed?
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