How do I talk about this with my son?

Anonymous
My ex keeps talking to my son about how I was the "one that got away" and filling thoughts in his head which is just mean spirited. Now, I don't mean to be callous, but he has AVPD and did some really awful things to me when we were together - things that made me have chronic low self esteem and depression. Once I woke up and realized that his behavior WASN'T my fault (like he insisted it was), I blocked him from all my accounts and literally went through the whole pregnancy alone. We never married and we only have contact through the lawyer because we have joint custody. Lately, he's been trying to get our son to "send messages" to me about how he's in therapy now and wants to be "friends" and asking our son to ask me to invite him for our Thanksgiving. Now, there's nothing wrong with not trash talking an ex, but this guy is NOT someone I'd call a "friend" - during our latest custody hearing he yelled at me for not messaging him to remind him of the appointment (?) - he was ten minutes late. He tried to convince the arbitrator that since he was going through a rough time (he broke up with his latest girlfriend) that he needed more time with the boy for "comfort" and when I said we shouldn't have to drop everything to accommodate for his self-inflicted emotional state - my ex commented that only his feelings and life were more important not ours. He said I must be a "shitty mother" because I wasn't more "understanding" of HIS needs as the only "true" man of the family (taking a shot at my current husband who had a vasectomy). Yeah. He's an ass. I don't want him in my life anymore than he already is. But I'm getting pissed off that he's trying to manipulate me through my son. I've tried not to trash talk his father, but I don't know how to get the kid to understand that this idea of "friendship" between us is just another ploy of his because the arbitrator wouldn't agree with him?
How do I talk about this with my son?
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