I just dont know what to do?

I'm in a shity relationship that I've been in for 3 years.. he's cheated and is a habitual liar and abusive and I 100% I should leave him and I want to but I'm scared because I dont have any friends anymore because for so long I wasn't allowed to and I'm just anxious about talking to people again or trying to make mor friends as silly as that is and I've gained weight from stress and only being allowed to make what he likes and everytime I've ever tried to break up with hime he either makes a threat like he's going to kill himself and has even gone as far to bring all the pills in the house to one spot to prove it to me or he's even broken his hand one time I tried to I just dont even know how to begin explain everything.. like the time he bought a 300$rock he thought had a hate hound bound to it to serve him instead of rent or refused to get a job or pay his own rent for a year (after getting me kicked out my apartment by letting people come over and smoke things and be loud and etc.) And like how he overdrafted the bank he had me add him to and then got it closed but I'm the only one who had bad credit from it for a year trying to keep up on rent and everything.. uhh just please l, what would you do?
I just dont know what to do?
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