Secret divorce after 8 years?

Anonymous
Last March after having the feeling something was wrong I finally got confirmation. We were married 8 years and my (now) ex-wife told me that we had been divorced for 5 months, she hid my mail that was sent from the court and wasn't planning on telling me until that June when she moved out. We've had our differences but nothing that would warrant that kind of secrecy. She was hanging out with this girl she knew from high school and had basically ruined her own life and started influencing my ex to leave me. I never liked her friend because the only interaction I had with her was when she tried following me, I'd never even met her and she was following me! So after she told me about the divorce we continued to live together until one day in June while I was at work she took all of her things and finally left me the decree on our bed for me to come home to. She was so cold about the whole thing for months until this past November when I told her I was done chasing her and I meant it. I have since then run into a wonderful girl I knew in high school but lost contact with to be with my ex and who is also going through a messy divorce. We aren't officially going out, her divorce isn't finalized yet and I hardly get to see her but there is great potential for us once she is ready for a new relationship. Lately my ex has been trying to come around and says she's sorry for everything and sometimes I almost want to just give in and let her come back but then I think about everything she put me through and all the sleepless nights when I really could have used somebody. I haven't told her about this other girl but I don't know why. The more I back away the harder she tries which is weird to me because the entire marriage she never did anything for me unless she would benefit from it also. I know what I'd be getting with her but it's hard for me to just cut ties with her even though I know I need to. I just feel too old to start all over again, I'm 34 but I feel older.
Updates:
8 mo
I thought so too. She had her lawyer send the paperwork certified mail knowing I'd be at work. We lived together the whole time.
8 mo
Texas is a no fault state
Secret divorce after 8 years?
1
5
Add Opinion