I don't know if I was a good bf?

Everyone know that when you love someone you close your eyes for a lot of thing but now I ask myself if I didn't close my eyes too much. So my ex cheated on me like 3 time, she used to spy my phone at night because she could only unlock it at night whit my finger print, I had nothing to hide but I felt bad because for me it was like she couldn't trust me. Also, she try to kill herself one night when we were in her house but I could save her because I woke up for the call of the bathroom. Just for you know she is depressive and already went to mental hospital.
Of course I did bad thing in my relationship like let her do what she wanted and call her crazy in a text message with a friend because I was angry at her, and of course she found out when I was asleep.

The worst for me is that I don't know if I loved her or if I just stayed with her for help her. I tried to make it short so you only have the big moment.

Sorry if you didn't understood everything, English is not my first language (it's French).
I don't know if I was a good bf?
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