The Woman who is Pregnant with Our Child Broke up with Me, and returned to an Ex, what am I to do? I want to reconcile. but how?

Colin93
around Christmas time an ex reached out to me and poured her heart out and asked to get back together with me. I said no because I was with this other woman who was and still is pregnant with our child and we were working to build a future and family together. But it did really affect me, and brought up lots of old feelings. The next day I opened up to my partner about it and that i was really affected by it. I wanted to be as open and honest with her as I knew how to be. I did unintentionally distance myself from her afterwards, I didn't realize what i was doing until after the fact, and I realize now that I was being very unfair to her. Im trying to have compassion and forgiveness to myself that I didn't know what I didn't know, but the shame is still here with me

This really triggered her fear of abandonment, and rejection. I had/have no intention in getting back with my ex, and I tried to make that clear to her, but the damage was done.

She declared that it was a massive red flag (understandable tbh). We went to a couples therapy session which was actually optimistic. We had a great meal that night and toasted our future. 5 days later, i admit that I had a bit of a small meltdown, as i came to realize that my sense of self will change drastically once the baby came. I called her and opened up about my fears. Later that night she called me again, and said that she believed that I just wasn't into her, because of my ex, and that I was only with her because of the baby. Neither of which were true and i tried to express that. She wasn't having any of it, and broke it off 4 weeks ago.

I always hoped that with some time and space we would come to reconcile. I agree that we both needed space to ourselves. Earlier this week, she told me that she was back with an Ex and wanted nothing to do with me, except to give me updates on the pregnancy, until she was ready to talk about co-parenting with me. I still want to reconcile. I just feel lost.
The Woman who is Pregnant with Our Child Broke up with Me, and returned to an Ex, what am I to do? I want to reconcile. but how?
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