1. The Feminist Court
2. The selfish ex who uses the child as a pawn and a weapon against him and who won't let him see his child
This is a very black and white way of looking at things.
I had to cut my ex out of my son's life for while for everyone's sake.
He couldn't seem to get his life in order, he was in and out of prison and I just got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore. It's one of those things that you wrestle with. You tell yourself that kids need their dads no matter what, but when you're in a situation where you can't ignore how things are, and you're wondering whether not having your child's father in his life is better than having someone who comes and goes and who was as messed up as he was, you have to choose the lesser of the evils and get on with it.
These days my ex does see my son, and he has completely turned his life around, but we are taking it as it comes.
Not everything is about being spiteful or using your children as weapons, sometimes it's because it's the right thing to do, even if a stranger wouldn't think so.
Imagine if the roles were reversed... and he cut you out of your son's life. Imagine that? Imagine if he deprived you instead from seeing your son.. how would you feel... you seem like a reasonable person.. how would you feel if you were in his shoes
Now.. there were women that were junkies whose Ex husband's made arrangements for her to see her children... on the condition that she goes to rehab and recover from addiction
When it comes to the children. Men always give women second or third chances... why can't women do the same thing?
I gave him many chances.
It's not something I woke up one morning an just decided. I thought about it a lot and so many times, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
My ex went to prison for 8 months for beating a guy unconscious, and that was in pinnacle point where I knew I couldn't have someone like him in my son's life anymore. I just remember thinking if this carries on, then that is how my son is eventually going to think people behave. I got very scared of what kind of father my ex would end up being.
I didn't cut him off to be mean. It was the right thing to do at the time.
Like I said, he does see him now. It was never the fact that I didn't want them to have a relationship, I just can't let him be an unhealthy influence.
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