Am I "Bored" of my Boyfriend?

Anonymous
**ignore the age range, i'm <20

i've been in a long-distance relationship with someone i've met online for almost a year now. we've only met once in person, since we live in neighboring countries, and the COVID pandemic came out a couple of months after we started dating. in order to make up for the fact that we can't see each other in person, we spend a lot of time together online, in calls, and playing online games together.

i still really care about him and want to hang out, but recently it feels like the spark is gone. i often find myself tiring myself out when i talk to him, being all too aware of his faults, or this constant feeling of disappointment in him. he hasn't done anything wrong necessarily, but it feels like he's not offering me whatever it is i'm looking for in a partner. i just feel so dissatisfied and bored all the time, and we often end up isolating ourselves from the other because of some disagreement or something.

i really don't want to break up with him because he loves me a lot, and he's a very sweet and caring guy. our one year anniversary is coming up soon, and i don't want to ruin such a happy occasion. but at the same time, this relationship is wearing me down, and i want to be single and free again. i want to find new people.

i feel like it's wrong to leave a relationship because you're "bored" and want to find new people, but at the same time i don't want to force myself to love him when i feel so hollow.

am i just depressed or something? or do i really no longer love him? i don't want to hurt him, and i don't want to be alone, but at the same time i feel so fake that i can't bear it anymore. what do i do?
Am I "Bored" of my Boyfriend?
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