My now Ex partner and I are still talking/hooking up but because of the situations that led to our breakup our respective family members despise both of us to the point where she has to lie and sneak out to come see me or face ridicule and we can only see each other at night for short periods. When we originally broke up we both said and did things to each other that were terrible hence why no one wants us to see one another. Whenever I’m alone and I think about her I get anxiety and a ball in my throat and I have trouble breathing, but when we’re together I feel fine. We both never intended on getting back together after what we did to each other and through meditation I decide to write a list of all the things I was sorry for in the relationship as well as any regrets as a way to take accountability and move forward in healing, then she reached out to me and we met one night and she had given me a letter telling me everything I was and had done to her and we cried, the next day we met again and went for a walk in the woods and reached a point where we stopped and looked at each other and kissed then all the feelings came rushing back stronger than before and I believed I knew that I wanted to be with her, throughout that time we have gone for drives, talked about our feelings, vented, etc. Also throughout that time we both had been talking/seeing other people and I met someone that I swear is my clone and have 95% similar interests, likes, dislikes, communication patters, even to the point where we know what the other is thinking. This woman has been extremely helpful in my healing journey and before my ex reached out to me I was in bewilderment at how amazing it was to meet someone just like me. Lately those feelings I got with my ex in the woods have begun to subside as I’ve also stopped to think of the things she has done to me even during this time apart and I’m scared those things will continue after a while of being together.