So the night before I tried to call my boyfriend and he instead texted me to say that we needed to talk in the morning since he was heading to bed. In my mind I’m freaking out because things were good between us. So fast forward to this morning, he calls me and we talk on the phone for 2 hours. I asked him the night before if what he wanted to say was bad. He said no and he said that because he didn’t want me to be upset. He ended up breaking up with me and not for the reason of him not being interested or losing attraction. Basically, from the beginning he knew that I wanted to get married one day and that I was virgin. He wasn’t a virgin and didn’t believe in marriage. We’ve both grown up in church. So part of the reason is that he feels guilty about having sex with me even though it was my conscious decision and I still don’t regret him being my first time. From the beginning he always was worried about what my family would say and just feel like he was corrupting me. I told him numerous times that I do what I want to do. I wanted to be with him no matter what. The other half is he felt like he was doing wrong because what we’re doing isn’t what Christians should be doing, he’s trying to do right by God. Of course I’m still heartbroken 😔. He said he’ll be around but can’t be my boyfriend anymore. There is no other girl. I don’t know what to think. He said he wants for me to get married and have kids like I wanted. He even told me that he’s started to change his mind on marriage and part of it was because of me. He said that we most likely won’t get back together but that he didn’t know who he would end up with. He said he doesn’t want to give me false hope. He sounded like be meant it but then again he’s said stuff before and went back on it. I’ve fallen for him and I really want for us to end up together. I don’t want to be with anyone else. Why is he feeling so guilty and why did that have to be the reason he doesn’t think we should be together?
I just have to say this. My ex was not a terrible guy. Honestly this isn’t the first time that he’s told me all of this about feeling guilty. This is the first time it resulted in a break up. There were other factors in the break up as well like distance. He has a lot of work to do on himself and he doesn’t feel he needs to be in a relationship right. I don’t know what the future holds and either does he. All I can do is take one day at a time, if we are meant to be it’ll work itself out.
If we aren’t meant to be together, we’ll both end up with someone else. Overall I enjoyed my time with him and will never forget it or him no matter what happens. I’m in a lot of pain right now and with time I’ll get better. He has a lot of demons and stuff to work on before he can be a partner to anyone. If we don’t end up together, we’ll always be friends. Just wanted to say all this, because you guys are going in on him and he doesn’t deserve that.