My ex told me she hates herself because of me. She broke up with me. Can I text her to ask her what it is I did?

Anonymous
Hello
me and her broke up a few months ago. She occasionally responds to my social media posts... a couple weeks ago she said she also had not moved on and that she writes essays about me in her classes because she is trying to figure out why I made her hate herself. She broke up with me. It was hard on both of us and we both struggle to this day.

I never want to do this again. I don’t like the idea that I’m the bad guy, but I realize that I am. I want to learn to ensure I never make anyone feel this way again.

I want to text her this:

“Hi, I apologize in advance for reaching out, I know it’s important for you to be able to heal and I want to leave you alone so you can do just that... I’m trying to fix my toxic tendencies, but I think I need some help from you. What actions did I do which resulted in you hating yourself? I think I know some of the reasons, but sometimes it’s hard to see the other side. I never want to make someone feel like this again. If you choose to respond, please be completely honest and don’t hold back. Also, if you think answering this at all would be negative for your mental health, please do not reply. I hope you are taking care of yourself, I hope you’re feeling better daily and that your friends have been a big help. Again I’m really sorry if this message isn’t welcome”
My ex told me she hates herself because of me. She broke up with me. Can I text her to ask her what it is I did?
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