How to overcome being broken?

Anonymous
The person who broke me was broken. For so long I didn’t know how to decode his behavior. I couldn’t understand if he was pretending to love me or if he was unable to love me because of the broken state that I couldn’t understand because I was -at that time- whole. For a long time I believed that he actually did love me but that he lacked the tools to have a healthy relationship. I tried to prove to him in ever stupid way that I could that I loved him. I felt that it was so obvious that even he wouldn’t be able to doubt it but instead of noticing the many times I showed my love for him, instead he was hyper aware of the times where we couldn’t see eye to eye. It wasn’t until later on did I start to suspect that I had misunderstood him-that I started to believe that he was totally careless of me and that he didn’t love me. And that broke me. So I understand what broken people need now, and even though it’s unfair, he was craving total control. He was afraid of being challenged, being uncomfortable, uncertainty or threats. Being left or rejected in any way assured him of his unworthiness. And he would rather be alone than feel unworthy or look for that sense of worth in someone else rather than it being readily available within himself. I was always choosing his happiness over mine and making decisions to keep him comfortable. So I felt like I just couldn’t win with him because I couldn’t be perfect but I know I gave it my all. Even though he didn’t explain exactly how he felt I tried to understand him. It’s not until he broke me did I understand how it feels to be him. He’s a part of my past now. But I don't know what to feel. I don’t want to be broken, and I always thought that if he could validate that it wasn’t some pointless relationship/meaningless thing to him (maybe with closure for me) then MAYBE I could overcome my brokenness because uncertainty is a broken persons kryptonite- I understand all too well now. But I don’t want to need him to be whole again
How to overcome being broken?
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