How do I cope? I'm literally at my wits end?

I've been struggling since December last year 2 rekindle anything with my wife. She's lied on so many occasions that I just can't believe anything that she says anymore. She lied about going 2 Amsterdam told me she went on a spa weekend with the girl's from school. She even lied about going on a all girl's holiday with our kids & her friend. Turns out she's been seeing a old flame from when she was 17. She never told me about him but it's taken me 3 months 2 get the truth out of her & find out she kissed him & nearly had sex with him. Baring in mind she's kicked me out 3 time's so she can try a relationship with him. Fast forward 2 now & she still puts him over her family & her kid's because their constantly under my care. It's now in a state of i don't want anything from her anymore & I certainly don't think we can rekindle anything after she's lied
How do I cope? I'm literally at my wits end?
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