How do I get a second chance?

Question

My girl and I are in a “break” right now. She is going through some things and I’ve kept my distance but we talked today. She said she loved me but was not in love with me and yeah that kind of hurt but I asked if we could ever work through things and she said she wasn’t sure. She strikes me as optimistic about everything but either way I’m going to hold it down and do the right thing like a man should. I told her that as long as I was in her house I was going to live as if she’s still my woman and she kind of made a face when I said that. I asked her if she was single and she said yes I also asked if she was looking into anyone else but got slightly upset about that and said yeah I go to work everyday then hit up the clubs all night and go to work the next day. It was an odd response but I let it go. We still share the same bed and she isn’t avoiding me by any means and she’s being respectful through all of this. She’s the type that keeps to herself and always has. She told me that’s why she is the way she is and I love her for it. She’s very reserved and doesn’t go out ever and is quiet most of the time. I truly love and adore her and want to work things out. She did block me on social media but I don’t care about that anymore. Let me know what I should do.

Answer 1

whatdoyouwantt | 182 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Xper 7

I suggest you to move on. When all is good you need no breaks. I also lost feelings for one guy before and thought maybe I need time to catch feelings again, well I caught feelings for the next dude. So ya don’t wait around I’m telling you. Break up and go on by your life, do all you want. And if at some point she decides she loves you, you can decide what to do next but don’t wait please. You are much better than that. Sometimes people only see what they had after the person is gone. So let her see it. Don’t wait around her lol you’ll only appear as a weak man and she will take adv of that.

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GayDawg

1 y
Hey I’m sure if I put it in the original post but she’s going through the tragic loss of her brother. He was murdered in 2019 and hasn’t gotten justice for what happened yet. I know for a fact she still hurts everyday from losing him. She’s also had very very bad past relationships and when I say bad I mean abuse. Very bad stuff. Both her kids love me and tell me that everyday they also tell me that I’ve made her happier than anyone ever has. Her daughter told me just last night everyone thought we were staying together forever. I’m the fifth guy she’s ever even been in a date with if that means anything. The other catch is if she didn’t want me around I wouldn’t be here. Facts because she’s known for kicking people to the street especially her ex husband’s lol. Grief will mess your head up for sure I’ve been there myself. One of her brothers is living here with us and he says we’ll work things out. She said she wasn’t sure about that however but if she said no then that would mean it’s really over. She’s not the type to drag things on over time. She’s rather just throw it away and hope for the best on the next go round. I’m always open to your opinions so hit me back.

Answer 2

GayDawg

Hey I’m sure if I put it in the original post but she’s going through the tragic loss of her brother. He was murdered in 2019 and hasn’t gotten justice for what happened yet. I know for a fact she still hurts everyday from losing him. She’s also had very very bad past relationships and when I say bad I mean abuse. Very bad stuff. Both her kids love me and tell me that everyday they also tell me that I’ve made her happier than anyone ever has. Her daughter told me just last night everyone thought we were staying together forever. I’m the fifth guy she’s ever even been in a date with if that means anything. The other catch is if she didn’t want me around I wouldn’t be here. Facts because she’s known for kicking people to the street especially her ex husband’s lol. Grief will mess your head up for sure I’ve been there myself. One of her brothers is living here with us and he says we’ll work things out. She said she wasn’t sure about that however but if she said no then that would mean it’s really over. She’s not the type to drag things on over time. She’s rather just throw it away and hope for the best on the next go round. I’m always open to your opinions so hit me back.

Answer 3

Anonymous

It sounds like this whole thing is over. She’s just going to dump you the minute she gets something better. I would move on first if I were you

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GayDawg

1 y
I beg to differ. I’m only the 4th person she’s ever been with. One boyfriend as a teen, 13 years of marriage to someone very abusive, 2 kids with him, she finally gave up when he started getting physical and the drugs and drinking took over, her second marriage was a rebound, some guy who was a friend of a friend but wound up being a drunk and abusive too and he got tossed out as well. Two guys after that, one made it a month, the other only a week or two, then I met her and we’ve been golden ever since. Her kids tell me they love me and have been there for me all the way. She also didn’t bring me into the picture until awhile after the last two were long gone.

Answer 4

GayDawg

I beg to differ. I’m only the 4th person she’s ever been with. One boyfriend as a teen, 13 years of marriage to someone very abusive, 2 kids with him, she finally gave up when he started getting physical and the drugs and drinking took over, her second marriage was a rebound, some guy who was a friend of a friend but wound up being a drunk and abusive too and he got tossed out as well. Two guys after that, one made it a month, the other only a week or two, then I met her and we’ve been golden ever since. Her kids tell me they love me and have been there for me all the way. She also didn’t bring me into the picture until awhile after the last two were long gone.

Answer 5

spartan55 | 450 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

Master

Dude, it is obviously over. She will cut and run as soon as she finds, some other dude.

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GayDawg

1 y
Maybe your right, maybe I’m in some odd state of denial, but one thing anybody knows about her is when she’s done, she fucking done. I wouldn’t be in her house or anywhere near her. She was like that with the last three. Her second husband had to be out the same day. I know this might sound strange too but her kids have both been talking me she’ll work it out. They’ve come to me and said she needs space and that I need to trust her. Her kids not mine plus they’re both adults and are dead loyal to their mom. I’ve been in this situation before and yeah the signs point in that direction but the real issue is she’s mourning the loss of family members right now and we haven’t had time to to focus on each other. Grief will mess your head up bro I’ve been there too. I’m only putting this out there because we’ve been good together for so long and she’s been through so much bad shit in her life. If you still think I’m wrong let me know.
spartan55

1 y
I missed the fact that she is mourning the loss of family members, that can definitely throw a wrench in any situation. Was it close family? Extended? How long ago did they pass away?
GayDawg

1 y
Spartan55: one of her brothers was murdered in August of 2019. His two boys watched their dad die. I was awake when she got the call. I had to wake up her kids and tell them. She is very good at keeping a lid on it that’s for sure. She lost a relative in March of 2012 who was beyond close who she still misses, and March of 2018 a coworker who I knew and that still hurts her a lot. Her brother hasn’t gotten the justice he deserves yet and I know that’s wearing on her too. She told her son a couple of weeks ago that she needed space and that she needed me to trust her. Look man I know your smart and you’re direct and I like that because I’m the same way but she is in a strange place mentally and emotionally right now but I don’t want to lose her or see someone hurt her during this time. I lost my dad who was my very best friend and the one person on this earth had my back in 2014 right before my son was born. I still mourn him to this day so I can understand her feelings. I’m open to your opinions and I appreciate the feedback.
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spartan55

1 y
Wow, that is terrible to hear... I can only imagine the pain... I lost my parents when I was 13 and 20, I can relate to the upheaval of your whole life.
GayDawg

1 y
Spartan55 The only other issue I do have still is I feel like there is someone else out there that she may be interested in. I know who it is but I may be wrong. They’ve liked a few photos on each other’s Facebook page buts that’s all. I don’t mind another guy liking a picture but he’s single and there are no mutual friends between them and I think that’s weird. Like I said before she told her son that she loved me and missed me and wanted to work through things but when I ask her she’s not sure. Her attitude about everything is different when I speak to her though. Her kids who are grown definitely support me through all of this and that’s what keeps me going b
spartan55

1 y
Come on man, FB likes? Really? Start looking at her time and how she spends it. It is so much easier to figure out that way.
GayDawg

1 y
She doesn’t go out, goes to work, then comes home. No social life at all. She’s almost a hermit. She doesn’t drink, she smokes weed but that’s legal up here. She works 5 1/2 days a week, weed store and groceries on Sunday, besides me and her not going to dinner on Saturday that’s it. Outside of work and home just social media. Nothing else.
spartan55

1 y
Well then that question is answered (unless it's strictly emotional cheating)
GayDawg

1 y
Emotional cheating? What does that mean? I’ve never heard that before
GayDawg

1 y
Spartan55 I also forgot to mention she’s not keeping me around for money or anything. Her house, her bills, etc. I’m only saying that because so many women are materialistic and want a dollar sign for everything. She and her kids have been through physical, mental, verbal, and emotional abuse and I’m the first to be good to them. The loss of her brother did change her drastically. If you were in my position right now trying to care for someone how would you go about doing it?

Answer 6

GayDawg

Maybe your right, maybe I’m in some odd state of denial, but one thing anybody knows about her is when she’s done, she fucking done. I wouldn’t be in her house or anywhere near her. She was like that with the last three. Her second husband had to be out the same day. I know this might sound strange too but her kids have both been talking me she’ll work it out. They’ve come to me and said she needs space and that I need to trust her. Her kids not mine plus they’re both adults and are dead loyal to their mom. I’ve been in this situation before and yeah the signs point in that direction but the real issue is she’s mourning the loss of family members right now and we haven’t had time to to focus on each other. Grief will mess your head up bro I’ve been there too. I’m only putting this out there because we’ve been good together for so long and she’s been through so much bad shit in her life. If you still think I’m wrong let me know.

Answer 7

spartan55

I missed the fact that she is mourning the loss of family members, that can definitely throw a wrench in any situation. Was it close family? Extended? How long ago did they pass away?

Answer 8

GayDawg

Spartan55: one of her brothers was murdered in August of 2019. His two boys watched their dad die. I was awake when she got the call. I had to wake up her kids and tell them. She is very good at keeping a lid on it that’s for sure. She lost a relative in March of 2012 who was beyond close who she still misses, and March of 2018 a coworker who I knew and that still hurts her a lot. Her brother hasn’t gotten the justice he deserves yet and I know that’s wearing on her too. She told her son a couple of weeks ago that she needed space and that she needed me to trust her. Look man I know your smart and you’re direct and I like that because I’m the same way but she is in a strange place mentally and emotionally right now but I don’t want to lose her or see someone hurt her during this time. I lost my dad who was my very best friend and the one person on this earth had my back in 2014 right before my son was born. I still mourn him to this day so I can understand her feelings. I’m open to your opinions and I appreciate the feedback.

Answer 9

spartan55

Wow, that is terrible to hear... I can only imagine the pain... I lost my parents when I was 13 and 20, I can relate to the upheaval of your whole life.

Answer 10

GayDawg

Spartan55 The only other issue I do have still is I feel like there is someone else out there that she may be interested in. I know who it is but I may be wrong. They’ve liked a few photos on each other’s Facebook page buts that’s all. I don’t mind another guy liking a picture but he’s single and there are no mutual friends between them and I think that’s weird. Like I said before she told her son that she loved me and missed me and wanted to work through things but when I ask her she’s not sure. Her attitude about everything is different when I speak to her though. Her kids who are grown definitely support me through all of this and that’s what keeps me going b

Answer 11

spartan55

Come on man, FB likes? Really? Start looking at her time and how she spends it. It is so much easier to figure out that way.

Answer 12

GayDawg

She doesn’t go out, goes to work, then comes home. No social life at all. She’s almost a hermit. She doesn’t drink, she smokes weed but that’s legal up here. She works 5 1/2 days a week, weed store and groceries on Sunday, besides me and her not going to dinner on Saturday that’s it. Outside of work and home just social media. Nothing else.

Answer 13

spartan55

Well then that question is answered (unless it's strictly emotional cheating)

Answer 14

GayDawg

Emotional cheating? What does that mean? I’ve never heard that before

Answer 15

GayDawg

Spartan55 I also forgot to mention she’s not keeping me around for money or anything. Her house, her bills, etc. I’m only saying that because so many women are materialistic and want a dollar sign for everything. She and her kids have been through physical, mental, verbal, and emotional abuse and I’m the first to be good to them. The loss of her brother did change her drastically. If you were in my position right now trying to care for someone how would you go about doing it?

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