Stay and commit (and be there for each other, but risk a poor sex life), or go and break her (and my) heart (lose her, but have more freedom)?

travelling_bill
Me [37M] is close to signing a deal to buy a house with her [35F] - been together for ca. 4 years now. Afraid of this commitment. Would be paying it off for 20yrs. We care about each other and enjoy each other's company, have similar sense of humour and can talk for hours. I like her family, they me, and ditto for my folks - they like her, same with friends.

Problem (for me) is her low libido. I was her first, and the 1st year in we waited ca. 8 months before we started having sex (waited for her). It was good and frequent, 3 or more times per week. For the past 2 years we've been averaging 1-2 times per month, and for me 2 times per week is really not much. She tells me during the week she's stressed by work but on weekends she does not want to do it in the mornings, then in the evenings she's often tired or forgets.

I bring this up from time to time and she gets defensive (that I talk about it too often, and that she's trying to improve). Most of the time she seems uninterested in sex, and seems to treat it like a chore. I keep thinking this will change, but only marginal improvements happen. We care about each other, but I am chronically frustrated by this. Afraid that we have mismatched libidos.

Is it sensible to break off a long term relationship... because of sex? It feels shallow, but also I don't want to be in this dynamic that I am trying for more, and she doesn't. I'm afraid that a breakup is the logical conclusion, but don't want to lose her. She's a cool girl...

Also: I prefer living in the city (an apartment but it's not that big of a deal), would also like to live in another city/country too for a while (but gave up on that to be with her), and also not that big on kids (she's leaning towards them). Part of me wants to leave, have the freedom to date whoever, live wherever I'd like to; another part wants to stay not to lose her. Am I not too old to be breaking up with someone I really care for, is it not too shallow of a reason to do that for?
Stay and commit (and be there for each other, but risk a poor sex life), or go and break her (and my) heart (lose her, but have more freedom)?
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