He gives me anxiety?

So about two years ago, i dated this guy. And for a minute there it was a fairytale but everything started crumbling when he couldnt have any more attention for me and his work wass the excuse everytime. We argued but we would come out stronger. Oh i knew he was the one. But then , he broke up with me early 2020. I was devastated and fell into depression. Healing was so hard. i felt i didn't have control over myself or over the situation so i asked him to block me. I felt i needed some sort of closure , some sort of clarity, some questions answered so i couldnt stop calling him and i asked him to block me. so he did and i started healing. However He contacted me in December again , but i shut him off. Two weeks ago he contacted me again saying he is sorry for how he treated me and he upset me and that he has changed and i shut him off again. For him he is over the situation so i told him he is making me unstable and he blocked me again. I can't access him for sure but since then i feel am constantly anxious, like i can't control anything. I can't even go out on dates with people and i keep shutting them out now. Why do i still feel caged on to this person yet he is non existent in my life. I feel like sending him emails to just rant or vent on how he treated me but i can't. What do k do guys? I feel sad. Advice please
He gives me anxiety?
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