Can someone help me understand why he can't break up with me? Or is he just too broken and I'm his bandaid?

Anonymous
I've been with my Affair Partner almost 7 years. He has always said he loves me to death, maybe adifferent chapter of his life with me when the teens go to college, he will do anything for me, etc. What I've been through in life is another level for him and it connects him to me. Continuously for almost 7 years. I see him often and we speak every day.

But lately I've been pushing the envelope about what are the plans for the future. I've been badgering him with this. Last night we went out to a bar and he was drinking too much. I started badgering and he burst out, I'm not leaving my wife and kids. I can't think of anything but my business right now I might be going bankrupt. I don't know anything about the future, I can't even think pf it with what I have going on.

Then he said out of nowhere. I'm not the man for you, I can't give you what you want. I'm not the man for you for what you want from me. BUT I will not end it, I can't end it.
Then he says,, If we break up YOU are the one who has to do it because I just can't do it.

Ummm, what?,!!! I wanted to throw my drink in his face I felt so totally disrespected and discarded. I felt like I was being used. I Said YOU can't commit to me, you vow your love for 7 Yet, but you can't let me go?

His kids are 15 and 16. One is acting out with bully behavior at school. The other gives him an attitude. His finances aren't so great these days.

I'm very confused. I'm thinking if I just leave, he will see what it feels like not to have me, my support, my mind, my body. Because he is in a sister brother relationship with his passive wife.

by the way his wife knows. She doesn't con front him because she's biding her time for her paycheck. And for her teenagers.
Can someone help me understand why he can't break up with me? Or is he just too broken and I'm his bandaid?
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