Why does my ex keep contacting me even though he insists we’re over?

Anonymous
My ex and I broke up just over a month ago. He broke up with me mid-fight and rather impulsively.

We’ve had our issues and have both hurt each other equally (although no cheating was involved). His biggest hurt right now is the fact that I hooked up with someone else a couple of weeks after we broke up.

We still love each other, but he’s been refusing to see me and talk to me since we broke up, but we’ve kept in regular contact. He goes between extremely hot and cold. This has caused me a lot of anxiety and my depression has been bad because I’m holding on to something I’m not sure is going to happen.

Finally, I gave him an ultimatum and said either we sit down together in person and figure out our next steps, or we need to breakup for good. He started an argument with me, got really mean and said our relationship was over the minute I hooked up with another man.

I told him that was all I needed to know and got the closure I needed. I told him we weren’t to talk anymore, and to please refrain from calling or texting me so I can move on for good. I need to heal.

Well, he didn’t like that and started texting me a few hours later saying it was unfair to give him an ultimatum and started being mean again. Wouldn’t stop texting me. When I didn’t answer he tried calling me. He just kept going, but I didn’t respond or answer because I want to stick to my guns.

I feel like I was very reasonable and mature about the whole situation, but of course I do still love him, but as he said, it’s over.

If he really feels that way, why does he continue to try to contact me?
Why does my ex keep contacting me even though he insists we’re over?
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