How to tell someone you like, that you don't want to be with them 'now'. Without saying you never want to be-

with them?

(When) They have not directly asked if you wanted to be with them -but did ask what you want from them?

#1. how do you say you don't want anything without saying you don't want them?

#2, how do you say you don't want them, without saying you will never want them?

Updates:
Sorry. *typos*


#1. how do you say you don't want anything FROM them- without saying you don't want them?


#2. how do you say you don't want them, NOW- without saying you will never want them?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't. There is no reason to say "I don't want you now but I will later".

    What's stopping you? Don't bother answering, there is no good reason.

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    • i have no clue what you just said.

      no reason- my reason for saying anything is to avid miscommunication, which has obviously taken place, or he wouldn't have said anything.

      what is stopping me from what. don't answer what. wtf are you talking about.

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    • i didn't ask you if I have a reason. that's not for you to decide. I asked for ideas on how to explain without offending or confusing him,

      if you have nothing to offer- you have no reason to answer.

    • There is no valid reason for needing to "wait" for a relationship if you like someone, now if you're not sure if you like them like that yet that's a different story.

      I've offered you my opinion, just because it's not what you want to hear doesn't mean it's invalid.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Just try to explain to him why you don't want to be with him now.

    But reading other answers / your comments it sounds like you just want to go slow, so maybe tell him that. Also, you said he seemed to jump to conclusions...like what did he do? You could tell him specifically something like, "when you did XXXX that was too fast for me". If he truly likes you, he'll understand...but make sure you don't just completely shut him out; just saying from experience.

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    • ;-) yes you are pretty much right on each count.

      I can't tell if I'm not 'ready' or just not ready for how he deals with ambiguity. he rushes and then misinterprets- its confusing, and as I've never been with anyone so I have nothing to compare it to.

      also I'm not exactly comfortable wanting to be with anyone. id say I want to be with him, I'm not 'not ready' I just haven't accepted wanting it- so in that sense I'm not ready-ideologically. him assuming things impedes my sense of readiness.

  • Really tough. The girl that took my virginity tried to do that. It is really tough if the other person wants something more. I wanted more. I didn't want to be a friend who might get another mercy lay and eventually get a chance to be with her while she messed around with a bunch of people.

    I'm not saying you are like her. I'm just trying to say that it is a really tough situation. Wanting someone more than they want you is rough.

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  • Talk to him and explain your situation and tell him just that. You want nothing from him right now but you want to be friends or keep in contact or whatever it is you want now. Tell him you are not ready now but might want him down the road. And explain and talk about it with him through and through.

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    • @update. So why don't you want that person now? Are you trying to keep a benefit/safety net? Like I'll date someone for now but might come back to you? And still you should talk it through with that person that you want or don't want anything from them and all that.

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    • than tell him all that what you just told me. That is the best way to communicate. Tell him, I don't want to hurt your feelings but I can't dive into this relationship head first. I like you a lot and I want something but I want it slow. I want us to take baby steps and see how things go before doing anything drastic. So please don't jummp to conclusion. And if he's not one of those clingy feminine guy he'll be OK, I'm cool with that.

    • you were making sense, until you went sexist.

      why do guys always have to add unnecessary statements-just to remind people the are insecure and bigoted. EVERYTHING you said made perfect sense on its own. it had nothing to do with other people or other women.. its cowardly, just so you know.

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