Help on breaking up with a guy I fell really hard for!

Iv'e been with my boyfriend for close to a year, long story short I have commitnent issues. So saying the words 'i love you' were really hard for me, he waited a month or 2 for me to say it back after he said it. he and I got really close and intimate in a short time and I got attached. He's been a terriable boyfriend lately (( past few months)) I figured if I stayed and tried to make things better it would make us like we use to be. He's been in my life for many years previous to us getting together, so letting go is not easy in any way. One of the main reasons I need to end things is cause I deserve better, and he needs to relize that I'm hopeing breaking things off for a wile will make him relize that. SO any tips on ending things with someone you fell hard for? the only way I can think of wording it is saying 'f*** you I'm done' GUYS how would you react to your girlfriend saying that? would you try and ask her what's wrong or just say ok? I know he'e going to try and get me back if I end things I don't think he could really let me go fully. any tips?

Updates:
sorry this was supose to be in break up!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It doesn't sound like you guys don't have much of a relationship after a year. I wasn't aware there are girls out there that don't have to at least hear their boyfriends voice everyday. OK if you guys are in a fight I understand but you guys need to enjoy spending more time together it sounds like. I've known a few guys that just can't see or talk to the same chick everyday. They can't even deal with being committed. It sounds like your relationship is based on physical attractiveness. I bet he has nice looks considering yours. Your pretty young though so maybe your just realizing you want more mental stimulation and contact out of a relationship. GL though breakups are hard :[

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What Guys Said 6

  • Well, a girlfriend I had just stopped sleeping with me. There was no discussion she just wouldn't get in bed with me. That caused the breakup. I suggest the same thing would work for you. Just don't get in bed with him.

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  • "I'm not doing this anymore. Goodbye." Any more is babble.

    Don't be surprised if he lets you walk; guys who mean to keep their girlfriends, act like it.

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  • Maybe skip the break up part and go straight to the talking about it part? If a girl said that to me, that's it I'm done. Why would I want a girl like that by my side? If you really can't take it, tell him he's not treating you right and you want to "take a break." Don't tell him you want to break up. But that's just my suggestion.

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    • ok thanks. I talked to him a week ago and he relizes he's losing me . I've talked to him about it but nothing he says he tries his hardest but I never see any prof of him trying.

  • If somebody told me that I would ask what's wrong and what could I do to make it better. Especially if it's a girl I really care for. Good luck in whatever you decide.

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  • how is he being a terrible boyfriend?

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    • Barely spending any time with me, and when we do get time together all we do is have sex. He will not talk to me for days , even a week for no reason and it's my fault. It's been close to a year and he has only taken me on a real date once! He has time to stalk me but not time to spend with me, that makes sense how? he says he tries so be with me more but he never comes threw on his words. and many other reasons.

    • From what you just wrote, Q.A., I'd say he's only interested in f***ing you. It's time for you to find a boyfriend who is more interested in you than just f***ing you.

    • He sounds like a cheese ball. Definitely get a guy that likes your brain.

  • If my girlfriend broke up with me I would say okay and then ask if she needed help packing her stuff. I know because I have done that before. I refused to let her see me in pain or to ever give her a second chance. If it doesn't work out the first time I don't believe it can ever work out. Make sure this is what you want because he may not take you back.

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    • i know he would take me back he has b4 when we went on break.

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    • So how much more do you want to see him? You say you need space, but you also say he isn't talking to you for days. Are you just wanting him to call more often or what? He may be getting some mixed signals from you.

    • i want him to spend more time with me just not 24/7 , I want him to call/text more and I will in return. I want him to want to be with me and show me he wants to be with me, cause right now I just feel like I'm his f*** buddie he's stringing along. I want to spend at least a day a week with him , right now I haven't seen him in almost 3 weeks! and b4 that we only had a hour or two together for sex and no time just to spend with one another.

What Girls Said 1

  • In my point of view, I just don't play mind games/guessing games like this. I have found out that being straight and direct about it has brought me the less waste of time and emotional strain. If he wants to change he will and if he doesn't want to, he never will.

    This is what I would say...

    "Listen, I am not happy in the situation we are in. I really love you and you are very important for me, but, I don't like the way you are treating me now. We haven't spoken or seen each other in so long, which makes me think you don't like me the same way. If you do not like me anymore, be straight about it and don't waste my time. If you are busy, then you should tell me because I am mature enough to understand. Right now I feel like you are using me just for sex, you might not feel the same but it is what you make me feel. (if you are, then find a whore). I will not tolerate this if you let it continue, either you change or I will end up leaving. I will not go back into this relationship again (and I really would not if I end up breaking up with someone and if he doesn't change), so tell me your decision."

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    • if says he won't change or makes one of his dumb excuses, I'll just be like okay then f*** off and go talk to a wall. BYE! and never come back ty :D

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    • Then, break up with him because if he can't change and it's not good to change him... since you can't stand him anyways, just break up.

      @jager66, I'm not referring to changing as a person or personality because that I have never done, but change as in giving her more time. If you consider it, 3 weeks without talking and just 1 hr for sex...that's not really part of "personality" , it's part of dedication.

      I doubt people can change who they are after they're brain are matured (21+) unless an accident occured.

    • lol, their brain, oops... it's 2am -.-

      anyways... @QA if it's about his personality you won't be able to change him

      but I think she's referring to his dedication to her and that he's not paying attention or... he's not considering her that important anymore. (PS: he used to dedicate a lot of time to her she said) so he can definitely be like b4)

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