Why did my boyfriend cheat on me?

I've been seeing my boyfriend for a year and a half and recently found out he was cheating on me. Our relationship has had many ups and downs due to the fact that he is still married and has been separated for 9 years or so. I've never met his parents or his two kids. That has always been an issues for me as he is my first priority and I don't think I am his. We always have a good time when we are together and he's always telling me how beautiful I am and how great I look, and the sex is fantastic. In fact, he's always picking on me because I always want him...so there is definitely no lacking in that department. I found a number in his phone that he was texting, as I had suspected something was up. I asked him and he denied. Fed up I stormed out telling him I was going to contact her and let her in on the fact that I existed. She texted me back saying she'd been seeing him for over 10 years and she's been trying to walk away. Yes...she is the woman he cheated on his wife with. His reasoning - he doesn't know. He's come back begging me to give him another chance and work things out. He said he's in love with me and made a huge mistake and would never do it again. I also had the wife calling me saying he's been sleeping with her as well, but he said she's lying because he told her he wants a divorce and that he's in love with me. Believe me my trust is shot, but we are trying to work things out. Every now and again I find myself thinking about him touching or talking to another woman the way he does with me and it just makes me sick. But I'm hoping that our love for each other is strong enough to get through this. I can't help but ask myself why he did this if he's always telling me how great I am. I just don't get it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you seriously 31 years old? The reason I find that so hard to believe is how naive you appear to be.

    Your "boyfriend" did not cheat on you... he has been cheating on other women WITH you. YOU are the other woman.

    Why does your boyfriend tell you such sweet things and then sleep with other women? Because he can. He knows what to tell you to get away with anything he wants. You are just his pawn.

    Don't think this guy is ever going to be faithful to you. He has been cheating for at least 10 years with one woman or another and will likely continue doing such.

    You need to seriously leave this guy before you get hurt again.

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    • Yes I am 31 and yes I was naive. Trying hard to have faith again, but it's not easy. He has said he wants to change and has started seeing a counselor. I think that's a step in the right direction.

    • Wow... yes I'm sure he will completely change... don't say I didn't warn you when he does this again...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He's just a cheater.

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  • Are you kidding me? Break up with this guy immediately because he is using you and has no plans to integrate you into his life. On top of that he cheats on you? Do you need a loud speaker? ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS--- RUN!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Okay What I'm about to say to you...you already know...DEEEEEEEEEP DOWN...you know this to be true. So please don't get mad upset or...what have you. lol.

    Honestly. You KNOW you deserve better than this. Do you really want to be with someone who has cheated on their wife? There is no excuse for it. NONE. that is why there is something called a divorce. Some people don't like to because it cost too much but I think if they could get together and agree to divide their assets and...getting off point but yeah my point is...You don't want to be with a man who has cheated on a woman (no matter how horrible he says she is or no matter how horrible she actually is) who is his wife. They took vows. Marriage has come to a big joke in ways but I still take those types of things seriously. You need a relationship based on TRUST. How are you going to trust a man who has cheated on his wife...a woman he said probably the same things he said to you. You WANT and NEED to hear those things and hey, it's ALWAYS better if you have someone you DESIRE tell you the things you want to hear. He's a player...No changing him. You really want to go on trying to give your all to a man who can't even commit or give himself to you fully? If you have or had kids, would you want something like this for them? No one wants that. He's just talking. He's just saying all this sh*t to get you to do what he can't. LOVE SOMEONE

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  • Why did my boyfriend cheat on me? He's a guy and he had the opportunity That's pretty much it.

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