Should you get back together with your ex?

I've been seeing a lot of questions lately about getting back together with exs. I myself recently went trhough a break -up and have thought if we should get back together. Although, I'm confussed and hurting, I also realize that he and I need some distance and time apart to heal some battle wounds. I know that we still have a strong connection and I could see myself with him again.

A freind of mine dated a guy in college, they broke up, got back together a few years later, broke up and got back together and are now happily married with 3 kids. As I typed that I realized that I have another friend that went through the same thing. I realize that these stories are not the norm and most break-ups leave heartache and devistation in its wake.

So, I have to ask, would you get back together with your ex, is it worth the risk? If you have strong feelings and love for a person and you break-up, where do your feelings go? Can you really get over a person you once thought you'd love forever?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I loved my ex absolutely unconditionally and there is nothing I wouldn't have done for her. She left me and basically kicked me to the curb and never spoke to me again. She didn't think it through at all and acted quite irrationally. She partied and slept around all summer and "lived it up".. Now I am bumping into her everywhere I go and she's with her new boyfriend. I promise he can't give her what I've given her or is anywhere near the boyfriend I was. So to me it screams that she misses me and regrets leaving me, since she's always at the places she knows I go. It's not coincidence. She is very immature and hasn't handled this well at all and the lack of closure killed me for months and months. I am assuming that she will show up some place I am with a friend or friends to try and engage in a conversation with me, but I won't hold my breath. I am no saint in this either considering I have sent her numerous drunk angry and emotional emails. That could have all been avoided had she not ignored me all that time. At this point in time I'd never entertain getting back with my ex unless she did some serious growing up. I never felt appreciated or loved or cared for. She meant the absolute world to me and I still cannot process how she's moved on so fast and is already in a relationship. She said I was "forever" and now this...

    • I meant everything to my ex and I knew it when we were together. We just fell into this funk that just got to be too much and that's why we broke up. I still love him very much and he meant a lot to me. We did the post break up wars as well but that has all calmed down. I feel like we have both grown from our experience. I don't want to get "back" together with him but move forward with him. I just hope I didn't blow it

    • Show All
    • we are both in our early 30s. We dated for 2 years and broke up about 3 months ago. I didn't cheat on him or anything like that, we just got into a place where all we did was fight and nag at each other. We weren't suportive of each other and we were just miserable. I'd say that we are moving towards a friendhsip. We've seem to be more supportive of each other now then we were a few months ago. The last few times we've been together we've had fun and got along great.

    • My ex is just 23 and is as mature as a 15 year old. She's just trying to push my buttons and be in my face about her new boyfriend. We still haven't spoken and when she sees me out, she leaves.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Depends on the reasons for the break up. Sometimes getting back with an ex because some things that were problems before have cleared up is worth trying. Other times it's just spinning the same wheel again with no chance of getting a different result.

    If both people are capable and willing to start fresh, letting go of the bad things from the past and know why things have a good chance to work better, I think getting back with exes can work out great. But if any of these thing is lacking I'mvquite doubtful.

    • how would you know if you were ready to get back with you ex?

    • I listed things in my answer already

What Girls Said 4

  • My ex boyfriend got back together with me after our 5 month break up I had with him and no it wasn't worth it not to me. I began second guessing myself when I was with him and our relationship just felt awkward and I was so nervous around him I didn't know why. He treated me like a dog, flirted with other girls right in front of my face. He cheated on me as well I found a pic of him and some girl on Facebook together and after that I just lost it, his trust and everything. I felt like I wasn't really his girlfriend I felt like I was being played, played second in our relationship that is. Anyways he and I aren't together anymore he broke up with me 2 months ago. I don't know I think he was just playing with my feelings. I don't really ask for a lot from a boy as long as he's on the same page as me and is at least trying that's all I ask. But as for him he's immature, and drinks and just I can't deal with someone that would rather do drugs then spend time with me. I'm 17 turning 18 this year and I want to meet new people, explore the world and find someone who I mean the world to.He is 16 yet he still acts like he's 12 its like he didn't understand the words that came out of my mouth. But no I learned it isn't worth it getting back together with your ex. Don't keep running back to someone that you know you should have walked away from a long time ago. If it makes you happy getting back together with someone then do it but if it doesn't then don't. I fell head over heels for my ex and I hit my head so much. I realized in the end that he isn't really worth it, you know? Just do whatever makes you happy.

  • Exes are exes for a reason.

    Yeah, things might have changed but it depends on how much. Are you really willing to give this another shot and are you going to kick yourself for opening that door again?

    Start out slow if you are going to get back with an ex because nothings worse than having that wound torn open and then have a infection. ew. lol. anyways - I wouldn't do it.

    • I have seriously asked myself that question and I realized that I can. The past is the past. I don't even want about how we hurt each other. I love him very much and I see the changes in him. Most of our issues aren't even there anymore.

    • If you can honestly do that with one another then go for it. but usually it ends badly. but if you can make it work then its fine

  • I think it depends on the two people involved and the reason for the break up. If you are both pretty good communicators and able to forgive, as well as to chart a path forward that would fix the reason you broke up in the first place, then I think getting back together can be the right thing to do.

    • we had a massive communication break-down and that what caused our break-up. We've been getting along better and our skills has gotten better.

      even if I wasn't in the middle of my own mess I would agree with you and I do believe that people can change and improve their communication skills.

    • Communication with the person you love usually improves after a break up. I think I would give it a shot.

  • No,once I have broke up with them I don't think I would turn back.This is because I broke up with someone with some relevant reason.So once an ex will be an ex to me...

    • what if the reason was no longer an issue?

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