Can (or should) I get this relationship back on track?

Be gentle with me it's my first post.

My married ended 4 years ago when my husband repeatedly cheated on me, lie to me and was generally pretty unkind. It has taken me a long time to get to the point of dating comfortably.

I met a chap through a dating site - quite different to me, much quieter, less tactile, much more logical than me, much shyer. Regardless there was a spark and we started 'seeing' each other. I think due to my past situation I keep expecting him to do bad things and have got very upset with him and pushed him away, then got upset and wanted him to understand why I am up and down with him.

I am not blaming the guy for not being sure about wanting to see me anymore - though we are still sending texts to each other.

So what can I do to try and resolve the situation? I am going to work on my insecurity but are there ways I can show him I am genuinely interested in him, or do you think the differences in our temprements indicate problems ahead?

Thank you for any advice


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Gonna give you realistic advice for a realistic situation. The fact that you are having old flashbacks and trust issues with your current relationship shows that you have not completely healed, and you just jumped into a potential relationship still broken. I'm sure you know this but it helps to hear it too, remember that in order for a relationship to work, one person can't be carrying the other, it has to be done by two whole people. He can't wait hand a foot for your insecurities because it's going to damage himself in the end, and the both of you will simply crumble under the weight. Sit him down, talk to him about the issues and if I were you, I would tone down the romantic aspects slightly, and work on fixing yourself up. However, be sure to let him know you are still interested.

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    • he's right. Well input, I can't say better than that.

    • Thank you for your candour. Prior to being married I was probably the strongest, mentally secure female I knew.

      Worry that I may always be broken now.

      Just to be clear I didn't ask or expect this chap to constantly reassure me - but his erractic contact and admission he had been unfaithful on his previous girlfriend kind of sent me into freefall and panic mode (and neither of us are particularly romantic lol)

      Will ruminate on your advice. Many thanks.

What Girls Said 1

  • HONESTLY, I'VE KINDA EXPERIENCED THE SAME THINGS. IF You FEEL UR READY TO BE HONEST WITH THIS GUY, You SLD TELL HIM HOW You FEEL AND WHAT'S GETTIN IN THE WAY OF You BEING MORE WITH HIM. I THINK You SLD GO FOR IT AND LET THE PAST GO BCUZ ITS OBVIOUS THE GUY You WERE MARRIED 2 HAS LET You GO BEING THAT HE REPEATEDLY HURT U.

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