Can I ever get him back?

First of all, please do not hate on me for the following story. I know what I did was f***ed up. I already hate myself for it so I don't need everyone else telling me how much I suck. thanks.

So about a month ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. We were in love but I felt I was in a place where I needed to be single (he's older and working and I need to focus on college)

so we were going to stay friends. He ended up sleeping with one of my friends a week after we broke up. I found this out a week after it happened from a mutual friend. I confronted him about it and he admitted it and I got mad at him for what he did. Then a week after this, I forgave him, and we became friends again and even friends with benefits. Then, I slept with another guy. He asked me if I had done anything and I denied it. I denied it more than once and had myself convinced that nothing had happened.

Then last night, about two weeks after I originally swore that nothing happened, I felt so guilty and I called him and told him. Now he is calling me disgusting and wants nothing to do with me ever again.

I understand that I f***ed up and what I did was wrong, and I feel disgusting for it, but I need him in my life... what can I do to get him back, at least as a friend if nothing else?


Most Helpful Guy

  • dnt worry he'll be bak a week later

    guys over react when a girl v are sleeping with does something like you did but then v go like hye she cud have hid this frm me awl her life but she choose to tell us tht means she's honest and letting go of an honest girl is like jumping in a lions cage who hasn't been fed for two days


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What Guys Said 3

  • I'm not attacking you, but I don't get the whole thing with women needing to remain friends with ex's. If you broke up with him to focus on college then you just need to go and focus on college because after dating for ayear and a half you can't just go back to being friends overnight. It sounds like you really are confused about what you want. Forget about being a friend because from his reaction I am guessing that he doesn't want only friendship with you. You may have to swallow that friendship with him may be out of the question. And if it is possible then it may take some time apart so that the feelings you two have for each other can die off and you can have a platonic relationship.

    Just tell him that you was confused about what you really wanted, and that you want and need him in your life, and that what you don't want is for the two of you to go around hurting each other and that you want another chance. After that the ball is in his court.

    • ok, thanks for the advice. He wanted to stay friends too (well he did before at least) not just me. But yeah we are both really confused. I think we just still love each other so it's hard to know what to do.

    • Well in that case he wanted to remain friends because he still wanted to have his foot in the door. Look, don't use your college education as an excuse to break up with someone if you love them and they love you. If he really loves you then he'll understand that even though you're together that there will be times that you can't focus on him. My co-worker was in nursing school and also worked two jobs and still made time for her then boyfriend who is now her husband.

    • just cause love isn't at the right time doesn't mean it can't stll be love. need to focus more on myself right now but doesn't mean we can't still love each other. your advice is good but I'm saying there are always exceptions.

  • As the others said: you broke up with him because you needed to be single, so BE SINGLE. And you should always assume that you will NOT be friends with someone you break up with, because most of the time it doesn't work. Both of you will want to move on, but the other person is often hurt when it happens.

    You need to accept that there are consequences to your actions, and that some things can't be taken back or fixed. That's why you have to make wise decisions at the critical moment, and not a week or two after the fact.

    This may be a painful lesson in reality to you, but hopefully you'll learn the lesson well and won't make the same mistakes going forward.

    IMO, the likelyhood of you salvaging this relationship, even as friends, is quite low. Sorry.

  • Give him time and let him self-adjust and heal. If you keep pushing him he will feel like he's being forced to making a decision right here and right now.


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