Don't know what to do, he cheated & hardly apologized, I need closure!

My boyfriend & I had been going through a rough patch for quite a while, he suddenly became distant & wanted to spend less time with me and more time with his friends. Every time I tried to talk to him he would say that not having a job is getting him down & he wants to focus on getting a job. (I did not mind the fact that he was unemployed & I never made him feel like less of a man because of this unemployment status) Yes, I was the one who paid when we went out on dates & I was the one doing stuff for him but once he developed an attitude, I stopped doing all those little favors for him because he clearly wasn’t appreciating it.

A week ago (Sunday 18 Sept 2011), I called him and a girl answered his phone so I decided to go to his place unannounced only to find him with this girl, we argued & I got mad and slapped him then he got mad and hit real bad. There was no contact between us for 3 days then he showed up at my place (Thursday, 22 sept 2011)with all of my belongings that were at his place & said that he’s sorry for hitting me and hurting me (physically not emotionally) and that he isn’t sure where we will go from here, that he doesn’t want to lose me as a friend Because we were good friends before we started dating. He was in a hurry to go so I never got the chance to tell him how I feel about things, he said he still isn’t OK & we will talk further when he is ready to do so. (How selfish! What about me?) basically he seemed so nervous & was just rambling... I ended up being more confused

Three days later (Sunday, 25 Sept 2011)our mutual friend had a party & I went, I had a good time until he showed up. I just couldn’t face him… I was so uncomfortable so I just decided to leave.

I’m so confused…. I treated this man right, I did everything for him, I supported him but in the end he cheated on me & hit me. But I still can’t help missing him, I want to talk to him & let him know how I feel, I need closure. I don’t know how we will work out being friends since we will bump into each other often since we have the same friends. I’m still so angry at him for all he put me through & that he never gave me a chance to say my part. Today I decided to call him Because I wanted to ask him when we can talk and get over the awkwardness when we meet but the girl answered his phone again….

Should I just not call & wait for him to make contact with me? What do I do about his stuff at my place? Why do I still want to be friends with him after he treat me so badly? How do I prepare myself for those awkward moments when we do bump into each other? Does bringing my stuff to my place & staying with the girl I caught him with mean its over between us? Was it too soon for us to see each other? I’m so confused…

What do I do with the mutual friends we have (some of them are my brothers) how do I deal with seeing him again? At the party I was so upset & uncomfortable and he seemed so happy & care-free. He is eve bad mouthimg me ot his family saying I cheated


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What Guys Said 2

  • m sorry to say but the love is dead

    when a guy is jobless its the worst time of his life, and when a pays his bills this devastates a man his self esteem goes to the lowest level and with that our super ego comes to play which make us less sensible and much more agresive. so this explains the first part where he started being rude

    then as time moves on we start feeling as if the girl is paying our bills for she has sympathy for us and with year super ego guiding us v totally neglect the fact that she loves us this makes us feel ashamed and we go out to search for some1 else ... so when you went ovr it was jus a one night stand but when he slapped yu his super ego took over and now he would stick to that girl for a while

    its better if you don't make ny contact for a while. keep his stuff at year place till he asks for it, you wanna be frnds with him because you know the real him and you still blv he's the one for u, you can't prepare yrslf fr those moments because honestly heart is something that no person can control but dnt worry with time you would learn to get by,

    hes badmouthing bout yu because most of the people are telling him tht he's making a mistake by getting another girl and you vr best for him so he's trying to protect himself by badmouthing you ...

    just sit back and live year life the way you used to but this time just try finding a better person

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  • You should just get over him. It sounds like a dumb situation to be in. I understand you want to talk to him and have closure. Maybe you should call him and ask the girl he's with to get him. Yes I think he's moved on it sounds like.

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