Should I talk to him about my plan to leave?

I've been wanting to get back together for a long time. right now, we are doing 'no contact' because I think its the healthiest and so does he. we were together 7 years. this break up has been really hard on me and I'm planning on leaving the state for a couple months for a program to get away and get a clear head and perspective. I want to talk to him about this, but I also want to do this no contact thing right. I want him to want me back the way I want him. I don't want to just run away without talking to him, but I also don't know if its necessary to talk to him about it. I don't know. he's my best friend and I'm so heartbroken, but trying to keep it together.

should I talk to him about it? would that seem desperate? that would not be my intention but I don't want him to think I'm playing some game to get him to stop me or something.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with larry, just go. If you guys have a no contact rule, think of it this way. If you were not leaving the state, you would not talk to him at all over the next few months, right? So what's the difference if you're out of state and don't talk to him for the next few months? I guess I can see, if you're still hoping to get back together, that you don't want him to find out you've left without saying anything to him and have him resent you for it. But just the same, it could seem to him like you're breaking this no contact rule to tell him you're leaving and it's unnecessary.

    I guess, do you think he would want you to tell him? And if the roles were reversed would you want him to tell you? Depending how you answer those, you'll have your answer.

    If it were me, I'd just go and not tell him. In a few months, see how you feel and go from there. At that time, once your head is clear, you could write him a letter saying how you're feeling. Who knows how you'll feel in a few months. But to me it seems like it'd seem like more of a game if you told him you were leaving, to give him the chance to stop you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Don't tell him anything and just go.

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    • will you explain to me why you feel this way so that I can better understand?

What Girls Said 3

  • Unless you're planning on leaving forever, there's no reason too. Even though, I would only go to say bye to him, though I probably would just leave altogether and not worry about it. Honestly, if you're not going to talk to him anyway, what difference does it make? I would just go and leave it at that.

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  • Ur instect to get away and clear your head is a good one! Don't have any details so I'm taking a shot in the dark here. But send him a casual email/ text and tell him what your doing if you like. Be sure that he understands it's just FYI since ull be gone for a while. Removing yourself from it all will do wonders for u. Good luck

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  • No.

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