Is a second chance worth it?

I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago. He has been contacting me every day saying he doesn't want to give up on us and will change whatever needs to change.

I am torn whether to give him another chance. I am not afraid to be alone and I can easily get a date, I just feel like I am never going to fall out of love with him. I feel this pull back to him. I miss SO much. The seconds drag on without him.

Updates:
EDIT: We broke up because he has anger issues, smoked a lot of pot, and I felt he stared at women a lot around me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, people don't change no matter how hard they tried. I gave my ex a second chance when he broke my heart over a year ago. We got back together and moved in. Less than a year later, he broke my heart again. It was the same thing, but the situation was different. He gave up on us the first time because it was too hard to try. The second time, he said he has learned to "accept" things and that he doesn't feel like trying to improve our relationship and is okay with how we were...acting as roommates. People don't change and this was over something that could easily have been fixed for us.

    You will fall out of love if you allow yourself the chance to do so and to distance yourself from him. You might always love him, but you will eventually not be "in" love with him. I will always love my ex, but after almost half a year apart, I know that my feelings for him has changed. I used to love him so much and I miss him a lot, but I know that I can live without him.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Does the good outweigh the bad? How good were the good times? How bad were the bad times? Does he really try to change things he messed up on, or will he?

    You're pretty much just going to have to think about a lot of stuff like I mentioned in depth and then try to make a choice based on everything that has happened between you two without letting your emotions cloud your judgement too much.

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    • This is great advice. My family and friends keep telling me this...it's really hard.

      The good was GREAT. The bad was HORRIBLE. There were times when he'd look at me and tell me he loved me and I knew how much he loved me and I couldn't imagine anyone ever loving me more than he did in the moment. But then there were screaming matches and name calling-- I'm not innocent either. One time after a cross-country flight I left him at the airport. I didn't talk to him and he kept trying to

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    • He said I'm a huge part of him. He loves me with all his heart and doesn't want to lose me. He has finally said sorry for things that have happened and said he will change whatever in our relationship that needs to be changed.

    • If you love him, I would give him a chance if he seems genuine about it. Let him work on himself, make sure to show him that you care and want to help with whatever you can while he is figuring how to change, and see what happens. Don't fight with him if he tries to lure you into one, keep your distance and let him realize he is wrong if he does something like that. Be blunt about not putting up with it like it was in the past, and at the same time love him and show him that you love him.

  • What did you break up with him over?

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    • Oh sorry. He has anger issues, smoked a lot of pot, and I felt he stared at women a lot around me.

    • Any changes he makes, are going to be for you, not for himself. Which means, as soon as you are gone again, he'll go right back to the way things were. And that doesn't even take into account whether he will continue doing those things and just try to conceal it from you.

    • Yeah that's what I'm afraid of.

  • He clearly loves you and you clearly love the chase. You love that he's putting himself out there for you and trying to patch things up. You all do it but in the end it's never enough. I almost feel like my ex had me do that after she dumped me so I'd embarrass myself. From the flowers to the hand written letters to the third party interactions. I tried it all and in the end I failed so I will never chase again. It's nice that you miss him, because I don't feel she ever missed me. Especially now a few months later when she shows up with her new boyfriend everywhere she knows I am at. Why did you break up with him? If you love him so much and know you love him, you can fix it. He clearly wants to! Just a note- don't drag it out or ignore him if possible. I was completely ignored and was never allowed an opportunity to fix things. Now I basically just hate her and it sickens me to even see her and I am embarrassed I put so much effort into nothing. Good luck.

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    • I have anger issues and I have a very short fuse. I don't smoke pot so I can understand why you didn't like it, but still something that could have been discussed and worked out before you just up and left. Women around kind of sounds like you were a little bit jealous.

    • I didn't just up and leave. It had been discussed.

What Girls Said 2

  • If you love him that much I say give him a chance just one more! Ask him to change what made you break with him at first and start on a clean slate! Take it a little slow so you don't heavily invest yourself emotionally in case he doesn't change his behavior!

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  • Y did you break up?

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    • Oh sorry. He has anger issues, smoked a lot of pot, and I felt he stared at women a lot around me.

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