Two guys, one decision?

My boyfriend and I broke up because I thought another guy was cute, & he said I had wandering eyes. He asked me what I thought & I didn't want to lie to him. It's not like I wanted this random guy, I just thought he was attractive. He said a single girl has those thoughts, and I wasn't single. He's extremely sensitive and the most difficult person to deal with but I love him.

On the other hand, there's this other guy I started talking to after my boyfriend and I broke up. He's so sweet and mature. He makes me feel amazing and even though we haven't spent much time together I feel at ease and comfortable with him. The only problem is he's in the army (ROTC) and I don't see much of him. Also, he and I are moving really fast and I prefer to take things slow.

Also, I don't know if my ex and I are going to get back together. He acts like he hates me, but then acts like we're still dating and its confusing. I try to keep my distance from him & when I spend time with the new guy, I feel like I'm cheating, even though I'm single, and we both agreed we could see other people. I'm so confused and this will be pretty hard, especially since my boyfriend followed me to college so I'll always see him. Any advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He should just get over it. Finding someone else attractive is only natural, there's nothing wrong with it.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think he speaks the truth when he told you you have wandering eyes and you really don't love him, because if you really did you wouldn't be talking to the other guy for any reason.

    Nouf said.

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  • You thought another guy was attractive, and that ended the relationship? Does your boyfriend overreact much? Given that, plus your description of him as "the most difficult person to deal with," are you sure you want to even consider the possibility of getting back together with him? Behavior like this doesn't typically improve over time; if he's like this now, what will he be like in 30-40 years if you two end up staying together long-term? Do you really want that for yourself, or do you deserve better?

    As for the guy in the Army, how often do you see him? Once a week is OK, but once a month is probably not enough to sustain a relationship unless his work situation is likely to change in the near future. If he's moving too fast, it would be best to have a chat with him and let him know he needs to slow things down a bit. Try to be specific when you're telling him how you want to see things slow down.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Idk, I can only love a man at a time, it makes me lose my interest in others, I just don't consider other men at all.

    PS: you're very unfaithful...it's like you want to lead two relationships at once, you can't be this selfish, you're hurting him badly,

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    • actually, since I'm single I'm not being unfaithful to anyone. I never cheated when I was with my ex, he just got insecure & called it quits.

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    • lol it's called dating. I'm not exclusive with anyone and I'm pretty sure both talk to other people as well. do you just stop talking to everyone just because one guy says he likes you? if so, that's weird. That's your prerogative, and this is mine

    • Uhmmm, I don't flirt with another guy when I'm very interested in one I guess. I don't know, I just lose my interest in other men.

  • Its impossible for anyone to date someone and not find another person attractive. That is totally natural, and your ex-boyfriend needs to get over that. No matter how attractive one may be, there is always someone better looking. It doesn't mean you want that person.

    Your ex. boyfriend has to be secure with himself and know that he is enough man to keep you happy. He should not ask questions he does not want the answer to.

    If you knew he was sensitive, you should have said "Yes, he's attractive and so are you."

    Your ex. boyfriend still has feelings for you. He needs to get over his own insecurity issues. Do not waste your time with the guy in the Army, you will only build feelings for him and in the end you will feel all alone.

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    • Thats so hard, he's such a sweet guy (the army guy) and we go to the same school which is right by the base.

    • i know but you will only be hurting yourself more if you allow yourself to become more attached. think about it, don't you want a boyfriend that's going to be there for you when you need him?

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