How do you get over wondering what your ex is doing?

[bloosk]

I can't stand the idea of the being with someone else. FYI I left because it was better for both of us if I did.

[DishLady]

Out of my three exes I don't think about what they're doing in any active way... and not because I've had time to heal. I just never thought about it. My one more recent interest I confess I do think about... perhaps I'm getting more sensitive in my old age, haha.

[bloosk]

Women don't love at all.

[DishLady]

Wow...

[bloosk]

You don't. The woman you marry is never the woman you divorce. I see her insta picture now and she doesn't look or feel like the same person. It's only been 4 months. I can only assume she's been ran through in that time.

[DishLady]

Ok, that's YOUR experience. MY PRINCE left me for dead in the ER. You want me to fucking think about what he's doing? No thank you.

[bloosk]

I wouldn't expect you to.

But uh, is there anyway to know. if she has been doing that?

[DishLady]

Not really. Especially if you did the whole "parting amicably" thing. It kind of leaves you in an emotional limbo. I split with a guy a few months ago and I'm still in the emotional limbo. I don't really want to think about what he's up to... It's not from lack of having feelings, but it's just not healthy.

How long ago did you split?

[bloosk]

4 months

[DishLady]

And how long were you together?

[bloosk]

1 very intense year

[DishLady]

Ok so you have about two more months of lingering feelings left to go. You’ll be ok.

[DishLady]

Do yourself a favor and set a hard-and-fast date to “forget” and let her go.

[bloosk]

Doesn't she feel any? I tried creating a snap and instant rejection. So I tested it again and now it just auto rejects me. I don't know how thats possible..

[bloosk]

I've already had 3 hookups

[DishLady]

I don’t use all the social media, but really what she does is none of your business… and what you do is none of hers.

You’re lucky if auto-rejects… the system is saving you from yourself.

When someone leaves you, don’t look back. It’s basic self preservation.

[DishLady]

“Hookup” mean nothing. You’re old enough to know that.

Touching your heart and touching your joystick aren’t the same thing.

[bloosk]

Why is it auto rejecting

[bloosk]

Im not great at cold approaching

[DishLady]

No idea. I don’t snapa-frappa-insta anyone. What’s in front of me is real, what’s not in front of me is none of my business.

[DishLady]

You don’t have to be good at it. You just have to try. (Not with your ex, though. Clearly she’s moving on and so should you.)

[bloosk]

I honestly don't want her back but I also miss what we had. I thought she was it, why do women promise a future and then leave?

[DishLady]

https://youtu.be/iNvdewR9znk?feature=shared

[DishLady]

Men do the same thing.

I was heavily into a relationship for years and the guy just got up and accepted an arranged marriage after promising me the stars and the moon… Am I supposed to pine over him? Nope. Am I supposed to fuck every guy in my path to forget him? No (and eyw bc that would be A LOT of people). Just maintain calm dignity and move on…. Does it mean there isn’t an internal brushfire you’re trying to put out? No….

You’re just human, kiddo. Take one day at a time.

[bloosk]

So what are you saying here? That we still have feelings for each other and are trying to hookup to get over each other? Or that I should apologize?

[DishLady]

Don’t presume “each other”. Don’t think “we”/“us”. You’re single. Period. What you do is based on your feelings. It’s not her problem or concern or interest anymore.

[bloosk]

I don't necessarily believe that, you can't go from, "she wnats to die with me", to idgaf if you live or. die. it doesn't work like that. I know she still thinks about me. Her friends at the laundry mat look at me like they know. something. super suspicious, I know she thinks. of. me. I don't know why she's trying so hard to stay away. I swear I saw her on my street the other day..

The question stands, what are you saying with that video?

[DishLady]

Ok suit yourself. Keep pining for her and stalking her insta-frappa-crappa accounts if you want. “How it works” is how you make it work. You two CHOSE to PART WAYS. So move the fuck on.

It’s not your business to obsess over her this way or g-a-s what her friends are looking/doing/gossiping about you’re 33 not 10.

[DishLady]

And if you don’t want to get back with her what’s your end game in obsessing this way? Just let go and move on.

You have two more months of logical grieving… set a timer and stick with it.

[bloosk]

Head says no to her heart says want.

[bloosk]

It's complicated. That's not entirely true

[DishLady]

Dude, past this point, get a therapist to address this. I’ve given you my sincere thoughts on this.

[bloosk]

You women are wreckers

[bloosk]

Let's face it though, if we would have gitt3n. arried, it most likely would have ended in divorce, wouldn't it have?

[DishLady]

Whatever, man. You're just basically whining about stalking the woman you dumped.

[bloosk]

No I'm not actually. And you're a prime example.

[naartjie]

Literally just time or at least that’s what does it for me. Nothing in particular made me stop, eventually I just didn’t care anymore and that was months down the line

[bloosk]

I hate society. It needs to be better

[Nikki1989]

You move on like a mature adult. It is really that simple.

[bloosk]

I don't know if you women actually love anyone. Only narcissist can move on ina week. Everyone else needs time

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should reach out to her

[bloosk]

I did. Total silence. I suspect she's fucking someone else.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry. I guess you shouldn’t have broken up with her if you felt that way.

[bloosk]

She was pretty fucked up. I had too

[Opinion Owner]

I see. Why do you miss her so much?

[bloosk]

Either she was a narcissist or the closest thing to a "forever love" in a woman ill ever get.

[Opinion Owner]

What did you love most about her?

[bloosk]

It really doesn't matter now. But that she actually liked me. for me.

But it was probably just narcissism

[Opinion Owner]

If she really liked you for you, she’s not a narcissist

What did she do that made you break up with her?

[bloosk]

A laundry list. Literally i. just couldn't take her liberalism and fuck you men attitude anymore. Plus flirting and blah blah blah.

[Opinion Owner]

She’s not a narcissist, just a feminist. I am too. The flirting is annoying though.

I’m sorry it didn’t work out when you reached out to her

[bloosk]

This happened like 10 time sover a year. And she def is a narcissist. We'd fight and she loved me so much she'd take glamours shots instead of reflecting what went wrong and what she or we could do better. I guess immature too.

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do

What would you say to her if you could talk to her?

[bloosk]

I miss her and as long as I was wrong about my suspicions I regret breaking up with her.

[Opinion Owner]

You should text her that. As long as she hasn’t blocked you there’s still hope.

Better yet tell her in person if you can. If that’s not doable then text her.

[bloosk]

I have to text from anonymous numbers. She blocked my main one

[bloosk]

You should text it for me

[Opinion Owner]

No thanks. And if she’s blocked you it’s probably over, at least for now. Maybe give her some time to chill.

[bloosk]

It's been 4 months

[Opinion Owner]

If she still has you blocked she’s probably done. You could try showing up in person but tbh it’s not likely to work. Definitely a long shot.

[bloosk]

Ita not the first time I've had to go around using a fake number. I'd call her to see if she blocked this one too, but that's risky

[Opinion Owner]

Like I said if she’s blocked you she’s not likely to listen to anything you text from a fake number. That’s just really creepy and puts a girl off. Your only chance is to show up in person with flowers or something else she likes and hope she listens to you long enough to tell her what you want to say.

[bloosk]

She won't. I just texted her anyway.

I went from her blocking guys for me to being blocked for most likely someone else. Then women wonder why no one takes them seriously.

How can I know if she's sleeping around or not?

[Opinion Owner]

You can’t. I’m sorry. If she’s blocked you for four months it’s over. Just try and think about something else to distract you. I heard baseball works for guys.

[bloosk]

she's weird sometimes I don't know. I highly doubt she's destroying herself, but she's done it before. I was honestly also worried about her too

[Opinion Owner]

I wish I had some better advice for you, but if she’s blocked you and you don’t think seeing her in person would work I don’t know what else to suggest.

I have to go. Have a great night.

[bloosk]

She keeps denying me on snapchat. How can a girl that was sold on you all of a sudden not be?

[bloosk]

I feel like i failed her.

[Opinion Owner]

Because you broke up with her. You really hurt her when you did that.

[bloosk]

Well.. that's not totally true. We had been fighting for. months, so I said something so atrocious she wouldn't come back. But I'd like to at least tell her that I didn't mean all that. It's eating me up inside. That I really did care for her. I feel. so bad and it hurts a fuckton.

[Opinion Owner]

Is there any way you could talk to her in person? It’s your best shot. Much better than texting her from fake numbers.

[bloosk]

I'd have to travel 3 hours. I texted her friend a male friend. I doubt he'll do it but I sent it anyway

[Opinion Owner]

I see. Guy friends are unreliable unless they’re your friend too.

She’ll be impressed that you traveled three hours just to apologize to her

[bloosk]

Haha I doubt it. Based on where we were she definitely has gotten railed through. Probably by minorities at this point. I think she's gone full mudshark

[Opinion Owner]

I gtg. Bye.

[bloosk]

Whats your problem? Afraid of alternate opinions

[bloosk]

So... she didn't block my alternate number.. what does that mean?

[Opinion Owner]

Either she hasn’t gotten around to it yet or she’s willing to listen to what you have to say.

[bloosk]

I've been texting her from there for a while

[bloosk]

I said everything i could say. I called her too, and nothing

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry. I don’t know what to suggest at this point.

[bloosk]

Me either. She either hates me, actively (still has feelings) or she's indifferent. But I guarantee you she's not indifferent. She tried many times, to find a new guy and she always says, "he didn't do this like bloosk, or bloosk would have done that better or differently". I don't know if I should keep trying or go no contact

[Opinion Owner]

Wait a while then try again. I think you’re better off that way, since trying over and over has only gotten silence from her.

[bloosk]

Yeah. I don't know.. if what I think is true, maybe I won't like or couldn't accept what she's been up to. She definitely hasn't spent nights alone. But she wasn't the type to go be a slut either. I don't know. Wanna reach out to her for me? Lol

[Opinion Owner]

No thanks. But I will wish you good luck.

[bloosk]

She blocked the other number..

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry. I’m totally out of ideas.

[bloosk]

I mean, it's probably over. Unless she comes back on her own. But I doubt it. It sucks. I t think I was lead wrongly to break up but damn there were issues

[Opinion Owner]

It probably is over. I’m sorry you couldn’t get her to give you another chance.

[bloosk]

I don't understand this. "Once I'm done I'm done", mentality. Usually people can't just switch h feelings off like that.

[Opinion Owner]

I can’t, but some people can

[bloosk]

She told me she does that. I just never thought I'd be the, "i blocked the ex for you" guy. Where I'm the ex.

I suppose now. i have to hope i alpha widowed her. I knew one day she'd leave so I tried being the best so she wouldn't forget me

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck

[bloosk]

I feel like a fucking loser. Like I wasn't worthy of her love or affection or whatever it was. I feelll worthless and suspiciously sounding very feminine.

I suppose it's time to hit the gym.