How do I get closure?

still think about my past crush and I want to get over him...but its proving difficult. he liked me too but due to complications we couldn't get together. I hadn't seen him for 5 years and recently bumped into him on Facebook. all those old feelings came back. in between those years of no contact I had several crushes but they weren't as intense as this one so I was able to forget about them quickly. I had never had a boyfriend however I know that he had a girlfriend which only lasted 2 months.

i don't want to get in contact with him which is for personal reasons but I can't help but feel that if he saw me again he would also have those feelings return. now I don't know for sure but I guess I convinced myself that he would.

because of this I keep holding on to him like we have a fairy tale love story, its pathetic I know that's why I want advice lol. I would like to find out how he felt about me to help me move on but I don't want to get in contact and I don't want to make it an option either. I just want to accept that its been a while and he has forgotten about me and moved on but I can't for some reason lol. I feel that hearing those words will help me move on in away I want closure.

so my question is how can I get closure without getting into contact with him. how can I convince myself to get over it.

please don't say keep yourself busy because that's what I did and when I saw him again all those feelings came back so I want to deal with my problems head on and not just cope with it, if that makes sense. I would really appreciate your feedback. thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I know the feeling. You have to convince yourself he doesn't want you. It's difficult because your mind tells you maybe there is a slight chance, but you need to convince yourself that it would never work.

    • thank you so much, I'm going to try and do that! xx

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well, if you can't be with him, then I don't think it should matter or not. Plus, it was a crush and 5 years ago. I don't think he'll still have feelings for you unless you guys see each other and start hanging out again. I know what it's like to see your old crushes. My heart still skip a beat when I see my old crushes, but it doesn't mean anything more than that.

    Why not say hi to him on FB and see...

    • thanks emily I just need to build a strong backbone which I'm going to try and do! xx

  • I know you don't want to ask him but what could it hurt if yall ar not going to start seeing each other in the first place. I agree that a simple hi wouldn't hurt anything.

    However, I know what you mean when you say you don't want to start a full blown conversation with your crush from 5 years ago. You may just need to accept things the way they are by telling yourself that its not going to happen until you just forget to day dream about him. Honestly, keeping yourself busy is probably the best thing. I know you said that you you were doing that when you saw him on fb but didn't it work until you saw him? You can't control what he does but you can control what you do by trying to accept things and move on to other things. I believe your heart will always skip a beat but you will just need to push past it.

    • thank you so much. I loved the bit that you said I acnt control him but I can control myself I will defetly take up your advice! xx

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