Am I a bad person for lusting for this guy?

Lately, I find myself lusting for this guy. He is intelligent, tall and hot. He flirts with me relentlessly including the usual negs. The problem is that even though he is not married he has a long-term relationship with this chick and even has a kid with him. I am not interested in a long-term relationship with him but I am really, really tempted to sleep with him. I'd be capable to keep my mouth shut.

How much of a bitch would that make me?

Updates:
In conclusion... only mess with him and blueball him to the extent that he might be willing to give up his girlfriend. When he does that sleep with him. (I would do this if I was actually interested in him).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm simply curious...

    ...are there any other SINGLE guys that are available to you?

    Please don't be a homewrecker...that stigma will stick for life. No matter how great this guy seems, he will NEVER respect you, you'll simply be seen as a "slut on the side". Plus most likely, he'll tell his friends about how you're a sex-toy, then your tarnished rep will spread, ruining your dating life, pretty much, forever in that area.

    All this for ONE guy's d**k isn't worth it. Find a single guy that is just as attractive & get it on with him. :)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • You're not a bad person. Actually, you fit in with every single one of my theories perfectly. You fall into the category of a girl wanting something that another girl has.

    You don't realize this, but I can assure you - if he wasn't with this other girl, you wouldn't feel like sleeping with him. In fact, I doubt you would be interested in him AT ALL! And there's more - after you manage sleeping with him, you're going to realize he's not as special as you thought he was.

    The fact that you DO want to sleep with him doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you shallow. Grow up, learn not to like guys for the wrong reasons, and start going after guys who are actually available.

    BTW you can argue with me if you like, but I will just hit you with a bunch of arguments that will ultimately leave you speechless and unwilling to admit that I'm right. You won't be the first girl who refuses to believe this about herself, either. :/ Sorry.

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    • True. Though I think its general female behavior to be more attracted to taken men and I am not exempt of that. I have been dating "available" guys but it turns out that A) They have sh*t loads of emotional baggage and are incapable of a relationship or B) Simply not interested in me. Guys that are in relationships are in relationships because generally speaking they are not completely screwed. Also I enjoy being the person he is not allowed to like but he ends up liking me anyways.

    • Sadly that's true. xD The good ones do tend to be taken! lol I'm sure there's lots of us out there who are just waiting to meet the right girl though. Mhm!

  • No, I actualy think that's normal. He sounds like a great guy, but I don't think you should initiate anything.

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  • If you commit the action, that would make you, as the experts would say, a "home wrecker." It's fine to lust and think about the guy, but it would be unethical to sleep with him because it's deceiving to the woman in his life.

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  • Sure go f*** him, he'll like that.

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What Girls Said 4

  • No, there's nothin wrong with feelings its just about whether you act on it or not. if they are in a relationship, maybe its a bad idea to act. Because if you're asking us here, it probably means you would feel a bit guilty doing it. And then if its good doing it with him, one times not enough right? so it would turn into an affair? Better to aim your lust at single hot guys, because its not worth messing things up for you or him, even if its tempting. too much drama and/or guilt.

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    • I'm tired of single guys. Believe me... I do try and I do date them. Its just that it feels so horribly humiliating to get stood up and to have to deal with all their sh*t. At least a taken guy has no surprises... you don't expect sh*t from him and you are not dissapointed.

  • It's normal to lust after guys... but it's just bad karma to mess up someone's relationship especially when there is a kid involved.

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  • do what you can live with. If you can handle the after result of sleeping with this guy knowing he has a girl already, then you might get your feelings hurt and just be a hoe to him.dont be a hoe, you are more than that.

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  • Big Ol BitCh. lol hahah =P

    Hey look, it's normal to lust over some guy and we all have our own reasons. I think that you should STAY AWAY from him beacuse of the fact he has a long term relationship and a child with this woman. It's hard enough to keep a relationship going for a long period of time with out anyone from the outside trying to wreck it. Although you might not be totally at fault, you would cause a lot of damage that doesn't need to be done. IF he choose to cheat or what have you then I suggest it be with someone else and not you. You wouldn't want someone else to come in and ruin something you had so don't do it to someone else. IF he feels the same as you, tell him that you won't do it if he is still seeing her but mention that you don't want a long term relationship. But it sounds like that it's really not worth it. there are plenty of other hot guys out there to f*** who are single. so either find someone else or get a x toy. lol.

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    • I've tried with the single guys. Unfortunately, my flirting and dating skills suck and I'm not capable of attracting the interesting single guys. At the same time I am horny and I want no strings attached sex with someone who is less likely to talk.

    • Maybe an old flame that was good? Or find a sexy friend who can help. Are you attracted to taken men?

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