My married guy friend wanted affair with me but changed mind!!!

OK, don't judge here--- I am married. guy friend is married. We are both in our thirties. We have known each other for 4 yrs. Has always been a little "tension" there. we would text occasionally- purely innocent stuff. Recently reconnected and it got HOT -- FAST! he hasn't even been married a year. we had plans to meet and ...you know. Series of mishaps and delays ensued (both of us) I was frustrated , and became a little reactive-- over texting. He got pissed because I broke our "agreement" that I would not text repeatedly if he did not respond, because it meant he could not or did not have phone. I apologized but now he's not speaking to me! WTF? By the way. love my husband, but the spark is gone. I do want my friend back - why is he being such a baby?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's not being a baby...not that I condone what either of you attempted to do...but, he apparently did not want to take needless chances of getting caught by his wife, so he laid down some ground rules to help avoid sticky situations which might tip his wife off that he was fooling around behind her back. When you totally ignored one of his rules by texting him too much, you set off a HUGE red flag in his head that you could NOT be trusted to be discrete. He sees danger with you and you're not worth the aggravation to him. (Not trying to be mean, just being honest.) He apparently only wants a lay...a good time, not a whole bunch of drama. So unfortunately, your lack of judgement and prudence ruined your chance of hooking up with him. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise, maybe you should go try to make things work with your hubby instead...a man that TRULY loves you for more than just a lay.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If you only put as much effort into your marriage...not trying to be a d***, but just saying it to hopefully make you realize you might be loosing something which you've forgotten how important it is.

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    • I agree with you guy, spend more time working on the spark than working on the friendship/fwb. Man, that is mixed up.

  • I don't see him being a baby. If anyone gets that title, it's you for your impatience and lack of honoring your agreement. He could be afraid the violation is indicative of you not being able to deal with this discreetly and he is afraid of getting caught. Ask him to meet with you and, if you an say so honestly, promise him you'll fully honor both the spirit and the letter of your agreement. If anything is gonna get him, that plus a really sexy outfit should do the trick.

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    • Thx for answer. I kno-- I get that. But wanted to meet with him and tel him sorry, won't happen again, etc... won't even talk to me. We were friends. And btw... he did buy me a hot outfit to wear for him when we went for drinks but never got there... ugh... I just can c how he can want to forget me completely like this dsnt bother him at all. Going through withdrawal here!

    • @AustinMan: that's kind of funny, telling her she didn't "honor" her agreement with him. Seems she has that problem allot...wasn't going to honor her agreement with her husband either. lol

What Girls Said 5

  • Get a divorce and find a new spark with an available man or get over that spark thing and give your marriage a second chance to turn into something deep and meaningful and not just lust because that fades over time in any relationship or can be used as a diving board to deeper waters. Just my two cents.

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  • get a divorce if you are getting a stray eye. its not fair to your hsband that you are expecting him to stick to his vow of being faithful if you aren't being faithful yourself.

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  • He's a control freak.

    Yes, I'm going to judge. You want help getting your "friend" back so you can get your affair back on course. Oh H*ll NO!

    What's wrong with you?

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  • Sounds to me you need to work on getting that spark back because you're looking for it elsewhere.

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  • It sounds like you are being the baby since you broke a rule that was stated in advance.

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