Technically Cheating or Not?

So my boyfriend doesn't like me going to parties because he worries that something bad will happen to me but I was mad at him the other night so I went out with my best friend. We went to a bonfire a friend of her boyfriend was having, Well we got introduced to everyone and after a while this really cute guy started talking to me from across the fire. He kept telling me to come sit by him and stuff and I wouldn't, he asked why I said because I have a boyfriend. Well a little while later he came and sat in my lap and was talking to me and was like "you have a nice smile" I was like "um thanks" then he was telling me I was really pretty and stuff and asking me why I had a boyfriend. Okay well long story short he was hugging me and asking me what I considered cheating on my boyfriend and all this stuff and saying "oh come on your boyfriend won't ever find out" Well he tried to kiss me and I turned my head. Well later we were in this bedroom (with like 3 other people) and sitting on a bed (again with 3 other people) and he kept trying to get me to lay down with him and I wouldn't, finally I did so he would shut up. Well he wrapped his arms around me and I basically just ignored it until he tried to kiss me again but I turned me face again and told him no. He kissed my cheek and I told him he needed to quit because I had a boyfriend. Then he just laid there and I finally thought he was gonna quit but he started kissing my neck and I told him to quit, then he started like biting my neck and my ear and stuff and I pushed him away and told him that was inappropriate and I had a boyfriend. Finally after that he quit. I felt horrible after it happened that I even let that happen. I told my boyfriend I went to a party and there was a guy who was flirting with me but I didn't tell him about him trying to kiss me or the neck thing.

So was it technically me cheating on my boyfriend since I didn't do anything or was it on the verge...? Also my boyfriends a very jealous guy so should I tell him about it or is it better left to be one of those things that I don't tell him about but never let happen again? Comments? Advice?

By the way I really do love my boyfriend it was one guy and one dumb mistake, I would go back and redo the whole night if I could. I feel awful about him and I really don't want to lose him over this...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not cheating. But, you sure hit the fine line. Hugging and kissing your neck to me may not be if you stopped it but, to someone that didn't want you to go in the first place? I think he would disagree.

    Remember that some people consider flirting a form of cheating. And this was way beyond that. But, I know this type of person and there whole pick up is closing in and wearing you out by slowly assauting your defenses. Next time you see this guy he will be worse and continue to get worse till he gets you into bed or you call him out on personal space.

    If your boyfriend is very jealous you shouldn't tell him because next time you go out he will brand you with this image. And a fight will break out and it will go badly. Mark it up for experience.

    But, not cheating. =D

    Good Luck

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What Guys Said 6

  • Hopefully you'll avoid such situations in the future, but I see nothing in your description that sounds like cheating. However, the bigger concern is your description of your boyfriend as a very jealous guy. Extreme jealousy has no place in a relationship; it only leads to problems down the road. I think you should tell your boyfriend what happened, if only to see how he reacts. If he completely flies off the handle (as opposed to keeping things civil and respectful), you should ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who acts like that.

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  • Not cheating technically But you are pushing it with his trust.

    Because:

    1. You know how your man feels about parties.

    2. You were with another guy there.

    3. You still hung out with him even though you knew what he was after.

    You honestly didn't respect how he feels. You rather be with a random guy. You enjoyed the attention and only feel bad because of the guilt, not because it's disrespectful.

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  • You didn't really do anything that would be considered cheating. But your defense could've been better. And shouldn't you have been with your best friend instead of.. well I would say follow him to bed, but you didn't really specified how you got there, I'm assuming you did cause he was already on the bed. Anyways, cheating- no.

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  • If it is not going to happen again and there is no way this other guy will contact you or your boyfriend again, just let the matter be forgotten.

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  • You shouldn't have put yourself in that position. Did you tell any of your friends that the guy was trying to get on you? I can't say 100% that you were cheating but you still need to come clean to your boyfriend, if you truly love him. You don't want to be hiding things from him. Because anyway you didn't do anything that would've enticed the guy, besides lying down on the bed part ( I would probably leave that part out, if he's really jealous that would definitely make him snap.)

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  • It's not cheating but it was testing the limits. If my girlfriend went to a party and I wen't a little later only to see some guy hugging on her I wouldn't be too happy about that. If I were you I would've slapped that guy.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Not cheating at all. You should have probably avoided the guy when he refused to leave you alone and definitely not have gotten on the bed regardless of how many people were there but that's a personal safety issue not a cheating issue. Cheating requires willingness and you were clearly not willing to give in to his attentions.

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  • I wouldn't consider that cheating, you did the right thing by telling him no over and over again. It may have been better if you wouldn't have laid down with him though, but you didn't do anything with him and you kept telling him to stop, so no it wasn't cheating. Just be more careful in the future =]

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  • i think you liked the attention and you just feel guilty.

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