You have a gut feeling something's not right.....do you snoop?

I know it's in invasion of privacy but we have all been tempted a time or another to snoop. Whether it be plain curiosity or actual gut instinct something isn't right in your relationship...So how many have you snooped and found something? How many of you have snooped and found no incriminating evidence and then felt completely stupid for doing so?

& if you do find incriminating evidence do you confess and confront the victim?

I would love to hear your stories...good or bad!

  • I have never snooped no matter how tempting!
    Vote A
  • I have snooped once but because I had a feeling about something.
    Vote B
  • Don't leave your phone/email/ipad/mail out in the open, I will look!
    Vote C
  • I snooped and found incriminating evidence and confronted the guilty perpetrator!!!
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I did a couple times earlier in our relationship.

    1) I was curious about this girl he was "best friends' with who I'd met only a couple times(that number hasn't changed) because at the time it was weird I guess...everyone I knew was saying how odd it was for his best friend to be a girl or whatever and I dunno...I'm not proud of it, at all. Only 'incriminating' evidence I found was him telling her about how he was planning to propose and whatnot(no details or anything, just his thoughts about one day and he and I know we're planning on getting married. =D ) I honestly feel bad about even checking his texts, so please if anyone feels the need to, don't berate, I feel bad enough and I don't even think to check his texts anymore.

    2) I asked people we both knew about things he'd said to me about job stuff. This was a legit curiosity as he'd lied big time(for several months) about this career job he had lined up and then he went so far as to actually "work" there. He was never hired. It was a bit of a rough patch for us, but for the most part I trust him again.

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    • Wow! No judgement. Ish happens ya know!? People never know what will happen unless put in the situation. :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • The only time snooping is warranted is if you do find something, and on the other hand, if the other party has nothing to hide then why would they mind if their partner had a look, and also if you feel the need to snoop, then something is wrong with the relationship anyway, there's my thoughts on it all.

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    • I feel the same way as you. If you have nothing to hide why worry. But I'm curious by nature and if the information is left around I will peek...Bad habit that I'm trying to break. My boyfriend is great...and he always leaves his phone laying around and I always look even though I have never f0und anyhting.

  • I got in trouble looking! at my workmate's e mail, just out of curiosity. I think twice about that now. I probably shouldn't have eased her about it so much.

    My wife's sometimes if she forget to log out...! I never find anything. I never let on I've looked!

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    • Oh no! you got caught? that must be the worst! or at lease embarrassing. yea I tend to check my boyfriends email if he doesn't log off..and I have found emails to a ex girlfriend but nothing romantic just cordial salutaitons hahaha.

    • Well, I teased her about it, I wasn't trying to hide that I looked..

  • even though I've never snooped, I voted B. Because if I did have a strange feeling I think I should get to the bottom of it, ya know? some things are worth knowing about

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    • Yea I know what you mean. I THINK PEOPle that say NEVER don't really know until they are put in the situation...but idk:)

  • I voted D - yeah, and I was totally right. Too bad I waited too long... I only investigate after I am quite sure logically after feeling it emotionally to confront someone on their wrongdoing with evidence.

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    • Why did you wait so long and not say something sooner?

    • Let's just say that my hope overrode my logic for a few months and the blatant signs were ignored due to trust. (I'm a VERY trusting person and believe that we're all essentially good).

  • trust issues like that, might as well call off the relationship in general. Seriously, if you have a "gut feeling" and are even tempted to snoop, sooner or later either the other is going to do something just cause they are sick of being hounded or they're going to just up and leave anyways.

    I don't get into a relationship if I don't full trust them. And the only time trust starts to waiver is when they start changing a lot. Getting quieter or not being open and honest and chatty as usual. And even then I don't assume the worst or feel the urge to snoop. So ya, no I'd never snoop and if anyone ever starts getting that feeling, it's probably best to end things as the trust isn't at the level it should be for a relationship.

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    • You make a great point! But I'm just asking for peoples experiences and outcomes.

  • Of course I'll snoop if my wife or girlfriend can't account for her time. And my wife or girlfriend knows what I'm doing and who I'm with.

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    • Have you ever gottne caught? or do you just say let me look at your phone? My boyfriend when he sees me on fb on his ipad he always grabs it (he says he's joking but I know he wants to see what I'm up to) and scrolls through and will ask who certain people are. or he will write dumb commnets. but I know if I could give him passwords and phones he would check. even though he says he wont

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    • See those are the people to look out for. Even though some just don't have anything to hide they just don't think its your business to check their stuff but I figure if your in a relationship what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours.. RIght? If that works for you why not...sucks though. did you confront them?

    • Of course. She tried to make it my fault for snooping. Not her fault for cheating, whatever. lol :D

  • no I mind my own business... if people are doing something wrong to me I'll eventually figure it out and deal with it.

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    • I guess you can always wait for sh*t to hit the fan. But not everyone is so patient :0

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    • you make a very good point! that could ruin the relationship as well..I guess there's a fine line.

    • Very true... that's why I'd rather be the one always showing respect and therefore if somebody disrespects me I will always be the bigger man ;)

  • All I can say is that if a girls snooped throgh my things, then we would be over.

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    • I guess that's what everyone says but it just depends on how much you like that person right? I love my boyfreind to death and I would break up with him if he snooped. I have nothing to hide. I would just ask him to ask me first.

    • Nope. One thing I learned from being with my ex is its best to end it when something happens. Giving second chances just leads to more misery. People don't change. But if you don't let anyone in your life(like me) then you don't have to worry about snooping or anything like it.

    • "giving second chances just leads to more misery" ^^^ I love that

What Girls Said 11

  • Well... I was watching The View or something and the Leah girl said... that if a guy is being suspicious he may be doing something and it's fair game if your married. For instance if your married you shouldn't be holding "secret" things.. like cellphone texts.. and all that crap. If your married everything that's yours belongs to your wife and vise versa.. So it's okay for a man to look through his wifes email and a wife to look through her husbands email.. Big whoop! lol Now on the other hand if you have something to hide and it needs to be ever so private.. there's probably something your hiding that you dont' want your partner to see and ... I'm all for snooping because... If you give someone a reason to snoop aka going out late at night without telling your wife, sneaking out, dressing nice and going somewhere w/out her... its okay to snoop because your giving your wife a reason to wonder what your doing

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  • Hell yeah I snoop especially when I'm not getting good vibes from a person and I do usually find incriminating evidence! Once I was staying with a guy for a few days at his apartment and I was told that the kids toys in his living room were from a friend. Well lucky for me when he left the place to go somewhere I looked through his sh*t in his room and found out he had a girlfriend with two children. And we were hooking up! So when he finally kicked me out I was like oh is it because your girlfriend is coming over? And he didn't seem fazed, just said he didn't know what they were at that time. (together or not.) So then I did some browsing on Facebook (on a fake account lol) and I found his girlfriend and her kids and I read some of her posts and they were together when the guy and me were fooling around but broke up about a month later. Then I went past his apartment soon after and it was vacant. I found that interesting.

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    • what a jerk! good for you on following you instinct! I don't care what people say,.,but if your even in that situations you never know what you would do!

    • Yeah I hear ya.

  • I have snooped a few times, if your gut is telling you something is wrong and you feel the need to snoop then there must be a reason why...every time I have snooped I have ALWAYS found something!

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    • Oh no! that's horrible! were you confrontational about it or did you just break up with the person?

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    • And once you looked you found right...?

    • Of course, I found stuff every single time. As far as I know he has never physically cheated on me..but he's quite the talker, he's bad for Facebook, msn, text msging...he was talking to his ex again and it turned into a he said she said thing, then there was a few random girls, we took a break for a month and he hung out with two girls, then when we got back together he still asked them to hang out...again, why I stayed I have no idea

  • I guess if you snoop cause you have a weird feeling, I don't see anything wrong with it. But you better be ready to face the consequences if you do find something. I'd rather know if there is something going on behind my back then him making a fool of me. I think it's OK if you check once in a while. And if you find nothing, then maybe he's not doing anything and you can feel a whole lot better.

    This is my story:

    I have snooped in the past. The first time is when we hit a rough patch in our relationship and something did not feel right. I went on his FB that he was talking to this one girl about our issues. I confronted him and he stopped. But after that I asked him if I could see his FB, email accounts so that I could feel secure. Of course he said no cause he felt it was an invasion of his privacy. So I had to go behind his back and check his accounts to feel secure. Majority of the time I found nothing. Which did help with my insecurities. Then a year and half later we hit another rough patch and he did the same thing again. There was never any flirting in these emails/messages or trying to hook up just asking them for advice regarding our situation. This time I checked his cell records, emails and FB. When I confronted him about it I did let him know that I had been checking his accounts for a while. He got angry and changed his passwords. Now I have no access to any of his accounts I can say I do feel a little better cause before when I was checking I was going crazy and extremely anxious. Now I just keep telling myself he's going to lose a good lady if he ever does cheat and he will have to feel the pain when I'm gone.

    Good luck to you!

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  • Apodyopsis is judging you.

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  • I've never snooped {so far} lol but I might if necessary and justified. However I may pass and notice things and if you leave your mail out I might read it just to see what it was but I wouldn't really go looking for anything...unless necessary! :D

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    • YOU ACCIDENTLY SNOOP! hahah I do that to my boyfriends mail if left out on the table. hahaha I don't mean to I'm just curious by nature:)

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    • I know for a fact that my boyfriend would go through my things I left them out there. Out of curiosity he would. I have nothing to hide. just my bank statement. I can't save for the life of me and that would suck if he saw I have no money in the bank even though he thinks I have all sh*t together. hahaha but other than that I don't care. lol

    • Lol well the best part for me is that I'm single and free as a bird so nobody's going through my stuff besides for my mom hahaha xD

  • No, I don't snoop.

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    • You have never been tempted too? I he left his phone on the table and you knew he would be gone for hours...you wouldn't look?

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    • I like that fonz pick! your right! you make a good point!

  • I snooped and found nothing :/ I still can' t believe I did it but I knew I had to because I had this undeniable urge to look, lack of self control, maybe? But anyway I found nothing so I'm happy I did it

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  • I've always followed my gut feeling. It has never led me wrong.

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  • ok so its not like me to snoop. I know my bf's Facebook password and as tempting as it was, I never logged in as him. one time he used my computer and forgot to log out. when I turned on my computer, the screen popped up and , ugh, I looked at his messages. I didn't ready any, I was just curious as to whom he was talking to. I had nothing to worry about :) and I feel really bad that I did it. never again!

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    • I did that before...my boyfriend left his email open on his ipad and I read his emails. There were some of an ex girlfriend. Somewhat flirty but the girl lives in ny and we live in ca. it was nothing crz just hey what's up you looking good. how are you. stuff like taht. of course I was jealous but I realized after reading the last message that ti wasn't a big deal.

  • I snooped in my boyfriend's phone once. It wasn't even really because of him either. My ex turned out to be a total douche bag after pretending to be a good guy at first, so it kinda made me paranoid about guys in general. I didn't find any cause for concern in his phone though so I haven't snooped since then and I won't do it again either. He's been good to me and he deserves to have his privacy.

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    • good for you! I felt the same way about my current boyfriend. we went through a rough patch and when we got back together I went through his phone once but didn't find it so I hve since then left his phone alone.

    • Awesome, glad to know I'm not alone :)

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