Boyfriend's ex "hookup" wants him back?

ive been with my boyfriend for four years and we have a child together. before we got together he was sleeping with this girl who was younger than him, just hooking up though nothing serious. well, he stopped sleeping with her when he met me and just kept a friendship with her online and stopped hanging out with her. I knew her though, we were KIND of friends. she actually ended up dating my ex boyfriend (weird I know). well, me and her ended up hanging out last year and went to a huge party together. I thought there would be no harm in it and it might be fun. she was 20 I was 25, we were on good terms, she was actually a cool girl and I enjoyed her company. she was with my ex and really loved him and I was cool with that, we had a great time but she got a little messed up and started leaning on my boyfriend (her boyfriend didn't come) and hugging on my boyfriend. he looked uncomfortable. OK, now lets fast forward to this year. she JUST so happened to be in MY boyfriends town (she lives about 70 miles from him) and asked if he wanted to hang, he said OK so she stopped by. they drank with his mom, and she "got sleepy" and leaned on him and "fell asleep" so my boyfriend mom told him she should leave. when she got home she instant messaged him saying "i love you and always have, if you guys break up I'm here for you. I want to be with you" and some other stuff. now she won't stop trying to hang out with ME and is getting all weird and buddy buddy with me saying I'm her best friend and only girl friend and trying to hang out with me. what gives? what should I do? she's REALLY WEIRD, I don't feel too threatened, but weirded out. she's SO STRANGE! any advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Typical behavior for a person who wants someone who's taken... they become all chummy with the person who's taken the person they want... why?!?! Think about it...

    Her being friendly with you is simply to save face... she doesn't want you to think she's jealous of you. Any sulky, distant behavior would instantly make you think ''She wants my man''. Also her worringly friendly attitude could wok in her favour (or so he really hopes) by you speaking well of her to your boyfriend, maybe this would alter his feelings/thoughts about her?!?! It's basically the twisted mind of a person who wants something they can't have. She wants to appear in control, unphased by your relationship with the person she wants but she's doing it in a way that shines suspicion on her like a fog light, it's horror film behavior , obsessive. You both need to avoid her, I'm not saying she'll go away immediately (5 years and still keen... maybe she'll still be there in another 5 ey?! :) !? hahahaha) but you need to get the point across somehow that your man ain't for sale and he's happy with the owner he has. All this friendly talk and friendly drinks is simply giving her false hope and god knows what else. Just end the contact if you can, speak to your boyfriend, tell him how she's thinking. If he does like her as a friend and respects her in that sense, he'll cut her loose for her own good, she needs to get her head together, stop dwelling on 'what if'?

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What Guys Said 1

  • I say cut her off, she's trying to steal your boyfriend anyways.

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What Girls Said 1

  • wow my boyfriends ex did the exact same thing. They broke up a year before we got together, I didn't even know this girl other then I have heard her name a few times. Anyways next thing I know after a year of us being together, she added me to Facebook! I said "um...your my boyfriends ex, how can I help you?" and she said that she wanted to be my friend...WEIRD then I found out that she had added him as well, and started msging him and asking him to hang out. She was the one that left him! I knew he still cared for her, he was torn up about the break up so I was worried...anyways she kept asking me to hang out, always asking my advice, wanting to talk and the whole time she was just trying to be on my good side while she snuck around with my boyfriend behind my back...Get her out of your life! That;s my advice to you!

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