For about three months I've been talking to this girl who is more than amazing and I honestly am in love with her. We talked everyday all day and we were flirty more than I'm usually comfortable with. It was very obvious I loved her and I can't see how no one told her or how she claims she doesn't know. She made it clear the first time we talked that she was just out of a relationship and was hurt. That said I'm a gentleman and was patient and gave her time. Last Monday I go to ask her out and she has a bf! WTF! And its someone she's known for like 2 weeks. Why did she do this to me? she's all apologetic and wanting to be friendly and she just stomped my heart out. I have watch them together everyday kissing and holding hands sayi I love you. I'm beyond upset, I don't understand at all. She says she felt and still feels the same way I do but now its too late. Can someone please help me figure this out I'm so heartbroken
Most Helpful Girl
I am sorry to hear about your pain, but you need some tough love here.
1. How can you be in love with someone you have no relationship with? You were her friend, not a relationship to her, and no wonder she is totally surprised by what just happened.
2. You weren't a gentlemen, you friend-zoned yourself. A guy who wants to date a girl and have a relationship, will ask her out and if she says no, he will keep in touch here and there, and try again in a few months. If she is still not interested, he will move on. He won't become her daily buddy, taking calls and flirting for months while she figures out what she wants. He will leave that to guys like you.
3. She did not know you "loved" her because you did not tell her. And, you did not tell her, because it wouldn't have made sense. It goes like this: Flirt, date, girlfriend, love. You can switch the last 2 steps, but love doesn't come before dating.
So, this is a perfect example of how to end up in the friend zone. You unwittingly became this girl's buddy and she enjoyed your company while she waited for a romantic partner to come along and ask her out. Hopefully you can learn from this. Honestly, I don't think she would have considered you as Boyfriend material if you had asked her for a date right away, but you would have known she was not interested immediately and would have avoided what you are going through now.1