How to get closure from your ex?

I am still very affected by my ex. He said some things which didn't correspond to what would happen afterward. He wouldn't explain things. I am tired. And I want to move forward. I feel like I really need to talk with him. Now, he's ignoring me. How do I get him to give me the closure and explanation I deserve? And why is he being such an ass?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Never wait for someone to give you closure, you need to do that yourself. Yes, you do deserve an explination from him but unfortunately we don't always get what we deserve.

    Last year, my ex (who was my fiance at the time and we were living together) and I had a petty argument (very small and stupid) while we were out shopping and when we got home, he refused to speak to me, or even look at me. Later on in the evening he told me to pack my things, he wanted me out. I packed my things and was expecting him to drop me off at my mothers, he refused and just told me to get out. I had just given him all my money that day (he was very controlling and that was part of the reason why we had the argument) so I couldn't afford a taxi, he just wanted me out and didn't care where I went. Eventually he drove me and my stuff to my mothers house and took off without an explination. This all happened the night before my birthday!

    In the car on the way to my mothers, I asked him why he was doing this and I deserved an explination and he refused to give me one and said "no you don't deserve an explination" I didn't hear from him for months after that. I knew that he wasn't going to give me any explination so I just learned to move on without one. Accepting that I was never going to get an explination was the best thing I could have done for myself and I was able to move on completely.

    He then contacted me a few months later, giving me my explination (that he had controll issues -well I could have told him that!) and wanting me back. I had moved on, and couldn't care less about his stupid explination.

    I had loved this guy more than I have ever loved anyone that I have had a relationship with in the past, but I found it much easier to get over him than any other relationship because I decided not to wait for him to give me closure, but to give myself closure instead. I simply thought to myself "I am done with you, I don't care what your reasons for ending it are. I want nothing to do with someone who is capable of hurting me so much" then focused on myself and my friends.

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    • That seems like the right way to go.

      I'm sorry you had to go through that. But sounds like you're doing much better about it. :)

      You've inspired me to do the same. Tnks

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What Guys Said 1

  • you can write him a email or text or letter and get your closure that way stating how you fell how you felt and why the break up

    and unfortunately some guys are asses

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    • I already have. I'm so frustrated with this.

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    • He left me hanging on a lot of things. He was so unfair and inconsiderate. It really irritates me. It's hard to let go.

      Thanks a lot by the way :)

    • im real sorry for that some guys are asses

      i hope you get closure because you deserve it

      ur welcome anytime

What Girls Said 1

  • Girl, my ex did not give me closure when he dumped me. I had to do that myself. And you will have to do the same. Some people are mature enough to have closure but some don't really like goodbyes.

    You really can't rely on him to give you something that you are in control of.

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    • I guess. That makes sense. Sorry you had to go through that. He messed up with me. We'd be on and off, he'd expect me to be okay when we got back together. During the break up, we were going to meet, then he didn't get back to me on it. He reacted to things. He's just left me hanging on so much. And it seemed like what we had meant something. Its terrible..

      So, whatd you do? Keep busy, forget about it?

      Tnx

    • I just try to move on. I am still hurting but I am finding closure in myself.

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