After your first breakup, do you let people in the way that you used to?

In all your relationships after your first breakup, do you let people into your heart like you did in your first relationship (or the first time you've invested a lot in someone and it didn't work out)?

I try to enjoy the current relationship but I know that even if I don't see signs that he's not interested in me, part of me knows that he might just up and leave one day and move on quickly with some other girl, treating her exactly the way he treated me, or maybe even better.

I'm just more guarded and it's not really a happy feeling. Somewhere I'm feeling, 'he looks like he's into me, but he might be just playing along. and I shouldn't be surprised if he just ditches me'

It's really cynical, I know. but I can't seem to get out of that kind of thinking.

(This of course applies to both guys and gals.)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't say it was after my first breakup... I dated this guy a few years ago. I felt like we had this amazing connection and I'd never experienced so much passion in a relationship before... I was so into him that I overlooked a lot of his faults. Anyway, when it ended - I was devastated... and I wasn't even in love with him - thank goodness. As a result, I don't trust people like I used too. I am far more cynical and I guess I'm afraid of being in another relationship. It's been four years and I haven't let my guard down since... but I guess I am kind of getting to that point where I want a relationship again so hopefully I'm getting over it finally.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It actually wasn't even a relationship, it was like a flirtation that I invested too much in and exes up really badly hurt. This one perfect in every way guy came along and it's so hard fe me to trust him even though I should. He's incredible but I kept trying to convince myself that he didn't like me to avoid future pain.

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  • I just recently had a broken heart. One of my best friends picked up the pieces and I didn't intend to allow him into my heart like that but he snuck his way in and now I'm in love again. So when a good guy comes along, he might just maneuver his way in there without your permission.

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  • After plenty of boyfriends and break-ups I can feel myself getting bitter. It's hard when you have your heart broken so you try to protect it.

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  • I know exactly how you feel. In a way, it's not really bad. Beats being absolutely blissful and oblivious. If it really DOES happen, at least you saw it coming.

    I think you need time, and the right person. Try trusting, you HAVE to anyway if you don't wanna end up alone. Trust me, opening up and risking it again is worth it once you get what you want. Pain is a part of life.

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