Well I been with my boyfriend for the past 3 years and through those years he first spoke to one of his exes through Facebook and he told me they were talking dirty. She is married and has three kids and was doing this. He told me he was sorry and did it just in case I cheat. Then I forgave him and just grew to get over it. Then like 6 to a year ago he confessed to me that he told this girl he works with through Facebook that he wanted to f*** her brains out. I forgave him once again. He said he was sorry and I just got over it again. Then the latest thing he did was tell this married woman that used to work at the store he works at, that her ass will look so hot in spandex and that he couldn't do anything because I will kill him. The first two things he told me he did and the last thing I accidentally saw it on his Facebook messages because he was signed in. I forgave him a third time and told him that if he did it again I'm breaking up because this really hurts, I love this guy and he says he loves me too. But I am at a point where I don't trust him. Do you guys think this is cheating?What will you do if this happened to you? Thank you everyone! Also I have to add we are in a long distance relationship but just two hours away and we see each other almost every week.
Most Helpful Guy
Whether it's cheating is up to you. Every relationship plays by its own rules; there's no Relationship Rulebook that has a list of acts that define what cheating is, chapter and verse. That's up to you and him, for you to hash out together.
I wouldn't say that he's acting in a trustworthy fashion, however. He knows how you feel about his chat, but he does it still. Either he's not understanding how you're feeling, or he's uninterested in how you feel. Either way, it doesn't look like he's working on a way to break his pattern, so continuing in this way is a recipe for long-term unhappiness.
It's boundary-setting time. You need to hash out with him, what sort of contact he's allowed to have with other women, and what he isn't. A look here and a smile there rarely hurts anything, but if he's actively propositioning people while dating you, he might need to rethink whether he needs to be in an exclusive relationship at all.1