Boyfriend's ex wants him to give her a body massage?

They went out in a casual way for like two years, but I know his feelings for her were very deep though not really reciprocated and there was also some physical stuff going on. Because they were not on a relationship they didn't have a proper closure.

She's always around because she's in her circle of friends (I have met her of course), and even though there once were a lot of resentments, coincidentially since he's with me they have gotten along better and now they even text each other (which I didn't know they did) and talk via Facebook and msn. Even though I don't have a problem with that because I'm happy that he doesn't have those bad feelings anymore -and have told him so- I also told him that I didn't want him all peachy with her all the time.

Now the problem is that yesterday she told him that she wanted him to give her a massage and to be like her "official massager" (He took some classes about it, he doesn't charge for doing it though).

I told him that I didn't think it was right on her part to ask him for that and that even though I clearly disliked it I respected his decision.

I think it's just plainly disrespectful that she asks that of him knowing the feelings he had for her (which she didn't valued) and that he has a girlfriend which would create an uncomfortable situation for everyone; I also don't like that he hesitated so much (and still does, he told me he didn't knew wether to do it or not) about doing it seeing that he I clearly disliked it and that she's not worth monopolizing the happiness in our relationship.

Should I talk to him about it again and tell him how I really feel instead of that vague answer? I fear that doing so would come across as "intense" but I also feel that if agree with this it would be harder to deny whatever other "ocurrence" she comes up with in the future.

If you have read all this thank you very much! I would really appreciate your opinion :)


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, first, she's a total bitch. And second, he's way too immature to be in a relationship if he doesn't see the problem with this. Tell him straight up, its not happening, or the relationship is over. If you don't dig in your heels now, what's next? He will only further disrespect the relationship and show no regard to your feelings.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would feel the same as you!

    I would tel him how I feel. That I think it is wrong. I mean, they had a sexual relationship before..

    and to me, sexualy is anything from holding hands to beyond! They dated..and they shouldn't

    be having any type of relationship now that he has moved on and with you!

    If this doesn't work...then ask him how he would feel IF a guy wanted to massage your back who was your ex..and you massage his back?

    I am SURE he would not like that.

    And, don't let him give you the 'I have taken classes though...it's different' Because

    it isn't different. PERIOD. And, to me, it sounds like she is trying to start some problems...

    Best wishes xx

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